Wendy Joseph: It is written


By Wendy Joseph

“The pen, please. I need it.”

“What are you scribbling now?”

“Not before it’s done. Never talk about writing before it’s done. Kills the drive.”

“You’re always writing but you never finish.”

“I’ll finish.”

“The Messiah will get here first.”

“You’re not helping.”

“Who said I had to help you? Where is that written? What am I, your life coach? How come you always do things that annoy me? And why are you such a wuss? You write crap that nobody reads, nobody wants, and you keep doing it and why?

“I’m not a wuss. And you’re mean, impolite; you have bad breath, poor taste in clothes, and you need to learn to bathe at least once every twenty-four hours. You’re neurotic, you know that?”

“Who made me neurotic? Who made the worst chicken pot pie the universe has ever seen? Who recycled the dishwasher when it was still on? Who—”

“How many times have you ever bothered to help with dishes? Or cleaning? Or laundry?”

“I’m in the yard all day. My nursery has got to do well or we don’t eat.”

“I know. Your edible plants are about all we eat from it. And they may be edible but they taste like cardboard shit.”

“Seasonings, you uncultivator. Teriyaki sauce covers a multitude of sins.”

“So we live on crap and condiments till the flower ship, the ornamental shrub and vegetable ship comes in? Or is it a barge? How much is it we still have on the loan for the nursery?”

“It takes three years for a business to get off the ground; you know that.”

“Great! We’ve got two more years of food banks and Goodwill!”

“Get off my back, willya? You want me to call 911 and yell domestic violence?”

“Oh, not a—“

“Shut up.”



(Editor’s note:Thought I would sneek in this propaganda. Sleathliteracy)

11 thoughts on “Wendy Joseph: It is written

  1. Thornton Sully says:

    Editor’s note: PLEASE take advantage of the free promotion we offer to all who have made the supreme effort to write and publish a book. Happy to announce it to the world! And please, invite others to come visit us and comment on the stories we post.

    The Witch’s Hand
    The Thinking Person’s Sword & Sorcery
    by Wendy Joseph
    from All Things That Matter Press

    Print and Kindle: http://www.amazon.com
    Print: http://www.allthingsthatmatterpress.com
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    Signed copy: wjoseph924@gmail.com

    Author website: http://www.wendyjosephwrites.com
    Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/WendyJoseph924
    Blog: http://www.wjoseph924.blogspot.com

  2. Parisianne Modert says:

    “It is Written” bounces us back and forth with witty dialogue faster than a Chinese ping-pong exhibition bringing humorous revealings of what it is to be an artist and what it is like to just live a rational life. The net which the ping pong dialogue gets paddled across is one of those lines where you are on one side or the other and Ms. Joseph once again proves to us that she is an artist with her chosen word strokes.

    Game, set, match to Ms. Joseph on a tightly word crafted story which cuts and top-spins our minds to delight.

  3. Diane Cresswell says:

    Seems we dropped into the Bickersons – loved the way you started out soft and ended with full throttle. Good one Wendy.

  4. Kenneth Weene says:

    For me, the power of this piece — besides the fine writing — is hidden in the two charcters’ vocations, writing and raising flowers and shrubs. Wendy has reminded us with some stealth that the violence of marriage is not confined to those from baser walks. Also, how subtly she reminds us that jealousy is so often internal to a relationship and about attention rather than about some external person’s attention, in this case the one is demanding of the other “feed me instead of working on your story.” In the end we have The Little House of Horrors.

  5. Laura G says:

    This made me laugh. I like how you made the starving artist image more extreme. You also touched on how we as writers are starved for time and solitude, especially in family or couple contexts. What is NOT written is also important…The reader can feel the love between the partners…They are comfortable enough with each other to be raw and humorous. Finally, I like how you alluded to the word “Again” but did not actually say it. We certainly know that’s what the writer wants to say!

  6. Monica Brinkman says:

    Alluded to yes, and left unstated, quite clever, but who doesn’t love Wendy’s imaginative works. You did not disappoint with this wonderful tale so I’ll forgive the omission of the word and plead with you to write more for us, again.

  7. Mac Eagan says:


    The dialog only and no attributions or descriptions of time, place or person (which are unnecessary here) creates a rapid exchange similar to a machine gun battle.
    I for one did not feel the love between the two – a line not included that I almost would expect to see is, ‘I don’t know why I’ve stayed with you this long.’

    • Mac Eagan says:


      I really enjoyed how you worked with the prompt. Thorn is often quite clear when specific words must be used; this time he said to build a story “around the word” but I didn’t take that as meaning “again” had to be included, only that the theme be emphasized, as we have here. The ending lets us know this battle is not new but oft-repeated.
      Thorn did tell us the phrase “not again” was not to be used. And, in this instance, it wasn’t although it was alluded to. Technically within the boundaries of the contest rules but at the same time deftly in defiance of them.
      So I like this entry both for its story-telling strength and display of technical expertise.

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