The Run for the Roses begins: Elijah Fang breaks from the starting gate!

Good Morning, oh love-thorn–oops!– love-lorn Literati!

Our first entry into our contest for 2014 “A Dozen Roses from a Single Thorn” could charm the plants of a horticulturalist with this sweet tale that…well…Here is what the author sent along with his story:


Attached is a love letter entwining Valentines and Halloween (Valloween?), mindless barroom violence, drinking, drug dealing, animal teasing, PX90, and lurid activities on an ATV.  Do with it as you please.

Usual bribe via Paypal should’ve been received.


(hope ’14 is essence for ya)”

My kinda guy!

The rules of love are written in the stars, but the rules of the contest, which requires that you use the prompt “but it was only a rumor” are written here:

And here is
Becky and Bean
by Elijah Fang


My Sweet, Hot, Sexy Becky,

Happy Valentines darlin’! Missing you badly – ‘bout as bad as Bax missed that bone he buried but we done dug it up and hid it up in that old juniper. D’you remembersittin’, drankin’, smokin’ ‘n laughin’ watchin’ that S.O.B dig here, dig there – digging everywhere he was! Then you got to feeling sorry for him, then how he howled and wagged his whole rear end like a jelly on a plate when you fetched it down for him?

I hope me reminiscin’ on good times don’t get you down. Remember it’ll be less than a year ‘n you’ll be released and we’ll be together again. Everyone down at the Tavern asks about you. Donna can’t wait till you’re back sitting on your regular bar stool. Says she’ll set up your favorite for you – a tall Red Bull ‘n Jager, umbrella, and three cherries.

Part of why she’s missing you, to tell the truth, is some of the ol’ bad crowd is startin’ to show up again now you gone and that ain’t good for business. Someone said they seen Shane dealing meth in the men’s room, but it was only a rumor. Turns out Bobby owed him for changing his alternator, seen him in the john, and paid him on the spot.

It’ll about be Halloween again when you get out. Folks at the Tavern still talk aboutlast Halloween, and not just about how you bust up Toby. Nope, they still say ours was the best costume ever. They say you’re a rare woman, one who don’t need to be getting dressed up as a sexy pussycat, vampire nurse or some other skanky costume to show off your titties ‘n shit. You agreeing to be Hardy to my Laurel showed you got class and a sense of humor. Mind you, soon we may not be able to pull it off: I been doing the PX90 and put on 3 lbs of muscle since starting! But, for a six foot feller 132 lb still ain’t much, so I reckon folks still be callin’ me Bean for a while yet.

Speakin’ o’ Toby . . . they unwired his jaw last week, but his arm’s still in the cast. Me ‘n him had a good, long talk. He don’t hold no grudges against you, and admits he was out of line for doin’ a body slam on me that night. Says he forgot about me having the slipped disk and just got caught up playin’ the part of his Hulk Hogan costume. He did say he would greatly appreciate you showin’ him the hold you got him in when you busted his arm – reckons it’ll come in handy once he’s back cage fightin’.

Well Becky, it sure is lonely without you. Can’t wait for another of our naked moonlight rides on your ATV, me holdin’ on tight behind as we ride through the desert night.

Your lovin’ man,




8 thoughts on “The Run for the Roses begins: Elijah Fang breaks from the starting gate!

  1. Parisianne Modert says:

    I found in this letter to a woman, I presume is in prison, are wishes for the future with her, catching up on the now that misses her and being sentimental over the past that they have shared. All three of these are presented like a scrapbook which allows us into Bean’s life and his thoughts of Becky. The theme is one of missing someone you love and feeling an emptiness, because their absence has made Bean’s heart grow fonder as the adage does suggest.

    As a writer of romance stories of my own, I must say that neither character appealed to me in the slightest, but they don’t have to. Romance is extremely personal as is the design of our lives. Vive la différence to you Eli and thank you for very real characters which distance has not been able to destroy. The love of this heartsick man with hope to see his Becky soon is endearing. Happy Valentine’s Day to one and all as we begin to write of the many manifestations which love can assume.

  2. Miryam says:

    This is a fantastic story. It has so much character & personality! The “slang” words give a real flavor to the story. It conveys a personal dialog, relaying funny & endearing events.

  3. Diane Cresswell says:

    Love comes in so many forms…and Eli you have added a good one. Bean has heart and honor – to wait for his love to come home. Your words truly allowed Bean to express his longing for her. Miryam has the right idea…I’d like to hear Becky’s response also. Now I have to find some way to get that vision of naked people riding a ATV out of my head…its really good

  4. Michael Stang says:

    Elija, it is really hard to commit to a story and write it in accented dialog, and make it believable. I so do appreciate the effort you put into this highly entertaining piece. Like all your other work, you show a considerable talent. It is such a pleasure to read.

  5. Eli Fang says:

    Thanks for the comments/reviews. It was fun to write . . . I just let Bean say his thang. It would be fun to have Becky write back, perhaps with some “Orange is the New Black” style jail stories.

    • Parisianne Modert says:

      To continue with that response from Becky would be an interesting second entry for you in this valentine contest Mr. Fang. You obviously have an audience and request for that story line to bring “Becky and Bean” full circle.

  6. Stars Fall On My Heart says:

    Is it wrong I laughed when I read “they unwired his jaw last week”? Sick little child I am LOL This was a fun read! Makes me wish Halloween were coming up instead of Valentines…nobody cares about my relationship status on Halloween! Ha! What a way to open the contest, Eli!!!

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