That’s the way the barf lies–our sub-human contest continues


Literati!  I once pulled into Nazareth.  I was feeling about half past dead. Then I discovered that Nazareth, Pennsylvania, was to home of Martin Guitars so this was no place to get unstrung.

Though perhaps I would have though differently if I knew it was also the home of Diane Cresswell’s favorite tavern.  Let her tell you about it, as an entry into our Wing Nuts contest



diane cresswell


Take A Load Off was the name above the bar.  Sleazy didn’t even come close to describing the building, or the so-called patrons inside.  Anything that slunk into that bar could not be called human.

I’ll just have to wing it I thought.  My wingman is inside waiting for me to get him out. First rule to get in was you can’t be human.  And here I am, human, female, hot body with all the right accessories, an angel face that melts even the hardest of criminals into namby-pamby gutless babies, and red hair that glows in the dark. No shadow hiding for me.  I have many other attributes but details can wait.

I silently stride into the bar with my badge ready… it says I can go anywhere.  Smart fools let me in.  Where is that sissy?

The bar flies are beyond disgusting – your worst nightmares come to life. I see my man down at the end of the bar drinking some slimy juice and jawing with… f**king hell a demon!

I ignore the fiends making rude sounds and gestures.  One grabs me and down he goes. I tap the drunken human on his shoulder.  He turns slowly around recognizing me through the smoky haze.

“Do I have to?”

“Yes Mr. King, it’s time to leave.  You have more than enough material for your next book.  Hustle or you’ll be the appetizer of the night and never get that story written. Move!”

23 thoughts on “That’s the way the barf lies–our sub-human contest continues

  1. Parisianne Modert says:

    The words move like steps through the sleeze that is the bar with motions, emotions that drew me into the story with a sense of looking all around me for what would happen next. Very well paced and offered.

    • Diane Cresswell says:

      Parisanne – thank you so much – this one was really done on the fly…as the head master was calling and I needed to put out. Hope he’s satisfied. Glad you liked it…need to see more of your writing.

      • Michael Stang says:

        Huh, Diane, I am afriad if you look behind you right now you will see most if not all of us at awwyp, stopped in our tracks, suspended in mid-air, to hear your answer to Thorn’s question.

        • Diane Cresswell says:

          Well now that you’ve brought this to my attention…I’m sitting here looking at what to say from all angles. I’ve come to the conclusion that with all of you sitting there rubbing your sweaty palms together with beads of anticipation popping out all over your bodies and your egoic minds gathering in possibilities of what I might say…well you all are probably coming up with better replies than what I could say…so you’re all right!!!! And Head Master…you’re right in what you’re thinking also. Yup that covers it…

  2. 1948pdobbs says:

    Well done Diane, I have been waiting on you. You left nothing to our imagination, painting as well with words as some artists do paint. I recognized Thron’s words at the beginning and when you told us about the sign over the bar, I knew what song to expect. King is so prolific I doubt he needs any new material for another book. They just go on and on…………….
    Blessings, pd

    • Diane Cresswell says:

      I had no idea where this one was going to go…just heard the words Take a Load Off and yes that song did pop into my head. About Mr. King…i’m thinking he gets inspiration from a place like this…even the King can get blocks…tongue in cheek laughing. I’m soooo glad you’re back Miss Peggy. I know its been tough for you and I can understand the situation only too well. I am happy that you are here with us again for you have been sorely missed by all.

  3. Salvatore Buttaci says:

    I loved it, Diane. Am I glad I took the load off, sat down, and read your bar flash! Now I can face the day out there. You’re good!

    • Diane Cresswell says:

      This one did surprise me a bit as I had no idea when I wrote the first line where this thing was going to take me. After reading a few of the others…with testosterone flowing all over the place – when I read it back after writing it – figured it would balance things out a bit. Glad I could surprise you. I surprised me. Actually you know now that I’m thinking about this – this one was fun to do.

  4. KYLE Katz says:

    This one moves like a midnight writer,stomps all over my imagination. Tooth biting imagery makes me want to occupy that redhead who masters total control. Fearless and breaking all the rules, cracking her whip even making Mr. King dance a bit. I love your style. Your talent flows effortlessly, in one of the best Flashes I’ve read in a long time.

  5. TiMo says:

    You tell him! King had it coming, and I love your sassy superhero description of human female. I feel empowered and dangerous just reading it, not to mention wanting to dye my hair so it glows in the dark. Iconic description. I think of X-men’s Storm and feel that I really want to read more about this character. Soon.

    • Diane Cresswell says:

      I appreciate your comment – didn’t see her as sassy but then…I figured glow in the dark hair might be an up and coming thing…been thinking that this one might have more to say in a longer story. Checking it out from different angles…so who knows.,.,there could be more.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.