Pass me the remote

I wanna change channels.

Finally, oh Literati,

Terri Leigh Relf has turned her writer’s block into sawdust and is (here comes my favorite word!) submitting! Have you submitted yet?  You’ll feel better for it.  Just undue that little hasp on the menu bar that says “Contests” and I’ll do the rest.

Here is something she didn’t write:

Break-Away Novelist

by Terri Leigh Relf

            “You didn’t write that!” She glared at me, hands on hips.

“I didn’t?”

“No, you couldn’t possibly have.” She paced back-and-forth, emphatically tapping her black-patent-leather stilettos in the interstitial spaces between my erratic heartbeat.

“Well, if I didn’t, then who did? That’s my name in the byline, my name on the contract—and the check.”

“Don’t get that tone with me, young lady!” She glanced at the face of her new Michael Kors’ watch. “Then give me scenario. . .starting. . .,” she followed the second hand, “right. . .NOW!”

Teri’s muse, shown here wearing Prada, is on a winning streep.

I swallowed, shook my head. I couldn’t defend myself by reciting a single turn of phrase, a single moment in the character’s life, not even a single defining plot point.

“I’m waiting,” she hissed, tossing her sleek black hair over a Channel-clad shoulder.

“If I didn’t, then who did?” I managed to croak out.

“You tell me, young lady. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were cheating on me—or worse!”

“What’s worse than cheating on your Muse?”

She glanced at the stack of books with my name emblazoned on the covers, shuddered.

“Channeling dead writers.”


What channel is Playing The Dead Poet’s Society?

Please mention my website! Thank you!


20 thoughts on “Pass me the remote

  1. Kyle Katz says:

    Uniquely crafted. I’m usually able to catch where plots are headed. Not his one! So much description, without describing. “black -patent-leather stilettos ect…. GOLDEN! Nice to read your work again.

    • Tlrelf says:

      Here’s a little secret. . .I didn’t know where I was going, either. I write in a fog with all those disembodied voices telling me to follow them. . .

  2. Tlrelf says:

    Thank you, Kyle and Diane!

    I actually stayed up all night with my Muses and a few Dead Writers who came to call. . .


  3. Mac Eagan says:

    I loved the line about not being able to defend oneself on a single turn of phrase or a single plot point, and the author’s inability to articulate that on demand.
    One thing most readers don’t always appreciate (and perhaps don’t even think about) is that the written word reads much more smoothly than it was written.  The pauses in real time between the sentences as the writer thinks and rethinks the best way to word the next phrase is never apparent in the finished work.  I like the way you brought that out.

  4. Michael Stang says:

    Okay, Tlrelf, I knew it was you:  “interstitial spaces between my… .”   Who else?  Okay, put your hands by your side and get ready to recieve the trophy.  So damn cool hearing your voice again. 

  5. Julie4 says:

    Love it.  Now I know why “they” say that there are no new stories in this world and we write about that which we know. 

    • Tlrelf says:

      Thank you, Miryam. I’ve found that human beings are incredibly fascinating creatures. . .I think their strengths may be directly proportionate to their weaknesses.  

  6. Chalice Divine says:

    Hah, your writing is so tongue in cheek, with skilled vocabulary and lovely imagery… you are a chesire cat, padding your slink through the contest sand, and boy do i love your paw prints!

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