Miracle at the Braille Movie Library

Ed Coonce, authority on all activities germinating from East Hell Blvd (he has his own Department on the menu bar, where you will see his stories begin to accumulate) has decided to dispense with an introduction and finger The Miracle at the Braille Movie Library.  You can also find Ed, pictured hear practicing ventriloquism for the blind, at www.edcoonce.com. Ed will bring his visual art to the Second Annual Oceanside Arts Clash here at HQ on October 13, an event that features both artists and writers.  You can see by the photo that Ed is well red.

Ed Coonce lip syncing to John Lennon’s “Imagine”


Mayor B. L. Zebubb, also known as Satan, phoned his girlfriend Lurleen, the East Hell Midget Jell-O Wrestling Conference Champion and assistant at the Braille Movie Library.
“Hi sweetie, you up for lunch?”
“Oh, yes,” replied Lurleen, laying down her copy of Elle. “I could use a little break. It’s been so busy.” She glanced across the floor at her one approaching patron, Blind Brucie. Unable to walk more than a few halting steps, Brucie scooted about in a autopiloted motorized wheelchair.
“Great! See you in fifteen minutes.”
Lurleen got out of her chair and addressed Blind Brucie. “May I help you?”
“Uh, yes. I’d like a copy of “The Thing With Two Heads.”
“Ah, yes, it’s over on aisle 14, I believe.” She scrambled over to the shelves and chose a package. “Here it is.” She lay the plain wrap cardboard envelope in Brucie’s hands, raised dots up.
“Wait..” Brucie ran his fingers over the dots. “Hey, this isn’t right, dammit! This is Teenagers From Outer Space! I’ve heard this movie a dozen times! You guys can’t ever get it right, can you? Can’t you read Braille? Now go get me the right movie, slut!!”
Lurleen wasn’t about to take this kind of verbal abuse from anybody, whether they had a library card or not. She bitchslapped Blind Brucie as only a Jell-O wrestling midget-in-a-black-leather-bikini can.
Of course, Brucie didn’t see it coming. He sat there stunned, Lurleen was breathing heavily near his ear. “I……I…” She couldn’t finish.
At that moment, somewhere in Blind Brucie’s head, a nerve ending fired, long dormant synapses zapped into life, and the darkness began to fade. Light invaded Brucie’s eyes for the first time since the accident. He tried mightily to focus on his surroundings, the light grew brighter. Lurleen’s face appeared in his new circle of vision.
Blind Brucie thought for a moment, while objects around him gradually emerged from barely discernable haze to clarity. He was amazed and contrite. He looked into Lurleen’s deep blue eyes. “I’m sorry. I, uh…shouldn’t have spoken to you like that…”
“Well, I guess I shouldn’t have hit you.” She looked away. Brucie could make out her side profile now.
“No! I’m glad you did! This is insane! I can see! And….you’re so,…so beautiful!” Brucie was a bit overwhelmed at that moment.
Lurleen blushed and tittered. “Thank you.”
“You, uh, wanna go get some coffee or something?” Brucie rubbed his eyes, making sure this was all real.
“Oh, I can’t, my boyfriend will be here to take me to lunch any minute.” She giggled.
Satan breezed in the front door then, hugged and kissed Lurleen passionately, and they hurried out the door. Lance, the assistant to the assistant librarian, took over.
“Did you find what you were looking for sir?”
No, Brucie thought to himself. “Yes, thank you.” He powered his scooter out the door and addressed the built-in voice actuated GPS.
“Nearest liquor store tavern bar.”
“Recalculating,” replied the GPS.

7 thoughts on “Miracle at the Braille Movie Library

  1. Stars Fall On My Heart says:

    I loved this story when you first read it out loud to us and I love it now!!! 

    I don’t know WHAT you’re taking to make these genius stories, but DON’T stop taking them =D

  2. Diane Cresswell says:

    Back from the islands and I now get to READ another Ed Coonce story – and you haven’t lost a beat…who would have thought that East Hell was as much fun as a ride on Thunder Mountain….as another snigger escapes my mouth.  Yes all is right with the world…

  3. Kyle says:

    I think I’ve read most of your series from East Hell. The neighborhood , the characters, the dialogue..So anti leave it to beaver, makes me want to wrestle with a midget. Toxic or not. Brilliant concept.

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