Bugger off!

Good morning, Literati

from the towers in Oceanside that will soon be beach front property if Rick Perry is wrong and Al Gore is right.

Brian Howard, our most robust rabbi, has penned an entry into our contest “You Didn’t Write That!”. As the editor-in-briefs (it is still quite early here) I try to imagine what the story submission is all about by reading the title.  You know, it is pretty easy to figure out what War and Peace is about  before you open the covers, n’est pas?  So I assumed that Brian’s story was about Bugsy Siegel, Endretto Bugatti, Volkswagons, Lobsters, or Elmer Fudd’s nemesis.  I just HATE being wrong so early in the day! Tis about none of these things!

E. Bugatti, posing as the editor-in-chief of A Word with you Press


Here is Brian’s song-oops!-I mean contest entry!


By Brian Howard

It was a deep biting pain on my right ankle.  Looked like a horse fly.  I saw the blood.


I remember it didn’t feast on the red trickle.   Slow for a biting fly, couldn’t escape

my furious slap.  I smashed it well.  The flu symptoms began that night, accompanied

by an oily  metallic taste in my mouth, followed by humming inside my body.


That’s when I started stealing the thermite explosives from my employer, General Intra. I had never even taken a paper clip before.

False procurement orders came next, the letters poured out of me. I remember thinking,


“You didn’t write that!”


The corporate Physician confirmed it; I was full of impulse drones.  Micro implants, in

my grey matter, — writing through me, — stealing through me, I was a 180 pound

procurement drone.


The bust was easy, we just waited at my house, and Homeland Security came for it all.

Another Oklahoma Boom?


The doctors said that the drones are now dead, leaving only a rusty taste in my mouth,and blue urine lasting about a week.

Horse fly delivery drone, — they knew where I worked.

The Twin Tower painting contractors all came from Horse fly states.

It figures.

wassup, my man?


Why not enter your own schitck for a chance to win a carrot?  Pull down contest rules from the menu bar.

These cars seem to have an insectual relationship to one another

11 thoughts on “Bugger off!

    • Brian says:

      Hi sweetie, thx, it’s good to be feeding the writing monster, I am learning to like it…..
      Knee is totally restored, THANK YOU for your help…….It’s amazing, I love naturopathy, it works………

  1. Mac Eagan says:

    Great story, Brian.  I liked the concept and I also liked how you said “I didn’t write that” but worded it according to the contest rules.  Very clever.

    Keep them coming.

  2. Chalice Divine says:

    Hum. This is a very fresh sort of voice, with creative stuffed into smooth transitional fiction, with sentences reading like reams. Delicious:)

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