Johnny Tobias has dropped in again. You may recall he won a contest a while back I’m All Shook Up. Maybe he wants the trophy of Horace to keep the Elvis trophy he won? Here, and in the movie trailer that follows, you can see how his theory works about getting the girl. Satikush, the guard cat at The Towers, makes a cameo appearance in the flick.
Here is John’s advice.
How to be Charming
by Johnny Tobias
Chuck is sitting cross legged on my lap in the stall. He begins to cut my hair with scissors he pulls from his blazer pocket. On top of the toilet-paper dispenser is purple make-up.
“Any man can be handsome, but you go out there not knowing what you look like, how do you win a girl over?”
He licks his thumb and rubs under my eye. “I don’t understand,” I tell him.
“How it is, is on a first date, especially a blind one, a girl is going to be polite and not point out all your physical flaws. She won’t just walk out at least. She might ask you about your black eye, but not your hair, or your new acne. Or this scar on your jaw.” He begins to apply what looks like play-dough to my jaw.
“Women love men who can be interesting. Really, you ever look at really goofy looking motherfuckers with a beautiful woman and wonder how in the hell? It ain’t money. Everything I’ve done to your body has a story now.”
He looks at me the way and artist looks at a masterpiece only he will love, and kisses his fingers like an Italian chef. He reminds me not to look into any mirrors.
Every silver spoon isn’t so much a carnival fun version of me anymore.
I open the door and see Nell siting at the table. I guess I’ll just have to wing it.