Entries, Featured, Wingnuts: Contest Entries
Diane Cresswell re-enters our contest Wingnuts with a definite hook
Jun
Literati! Seen here is the staff at A Word with You Press saluting The Editor-inChief (Moi, not shown)
Diane Cresswell stopped by the towers today to pay her respects.
I asked her to bring marshmallows and help me find my fiddle. And she was good enough to take Mike Stang’s trophy that was gathering dust and promised to send it to him.
All is chaos here at the Towers, as we wind down, but rest assured that the site will continue even though we are losing our clubhouse. You still have until the tenth of June to compete in our Wing Nuts contest!
Diane has submitted her second entry. The title is my sediments eggsactly.
Can’t, Won’t And Don’t Have To Grow Up!
by Diane Cresswell
Looking into the mirror at the images of the patrons behind me regrettably did personify a decidedly warped version of Peter Pan!!! A harebrained idea of coming dressed as their personal favorite childhood hero took off like wildfire, but who would have thought that the drunken nitwits with swilled brain cells would all come dressed as Peter Pan or Captain Hook!!! Even scarier were the ladies as grotesque versions of Tinkerbell. I knew this much, if one of them went down, I was not going to clap my hands to bring them back to life!
A long swallow of my gin and tonic definitely helped to soften the horror. Shaking my head, I quietly slurred out words to Mr. Barrie. “Do you see what you have created here? You and your boys who never wanted to grow up are in my bar!!!
“I know my dear woman. It is a bit of a sodding sight to see these plonkers wearing green tights attempting to fly to the second star on the right. Daunting really. They don’t even know the rules of the game!”
“You’re no help at all!”
“My apologies ma’am… toddling off now. Carry on!” He elegantly faded out.
“Boss, I need help! Otherwise I’ll just have to wing it.”
My bouncer, all 250 pounds of him was dressed in green tights, green tunic and boots, stared at me with fear in his eyes!
“Sorry Cowboy we’re fresh out of fairy dust!”
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Not all wishes are granted, nor does everyone have a happy thought, and it’s debatable if one can fly!!!! Maybe if you have a broom, a dragon, a flying carpet, a bottle of Jameson whiskey, or fairy dust. I’ll meet you there – second star on the right and on till morning.
Diane Cresswell
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=-tRXI1I_yew
Brava, I am tightly green wrapped in envy for your usage of the English language that never grows old. I bow for I can not fly to yonder 2nd star award, because you have two entries entered in this neverland, golden bird, crocking tick tock of a pursuit. Great piece of writing.
You have such a way with words my dear…I know your’s will show up soon and then we can change the wrapped in envy process. I did have fun writing this one…wicked!
The Tales of Darla Whisper with a swish and a curtsey! I laughed my ass off. This is a new twist to the ‘fairy’ stories you used to write. Good stuff, Diane! I love it and my vote’s for you and thinking waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out there for this one.
You do realize that Cowboy in green tights is my vision of you…are you still going to talk to me after this? LOL I love your support…thank you kindly sir as i curtsey.
I knew that.
Oh, Honey, you should see the pictures! One year that boy and Catlow lost a bet on whether Betty Ann Snodgrass’ boobs were real, (they weren’t but heck, I knew that!) well, anyway, since they lost the bet, him and Catlow had to go to the Halloween Party at Cheater’s Bar as Peter Pan and Tinker Bell. I took one look at them in those green tights and I said to him, I said, “Boy, looks more like Vienna Sausage Pan and Tinker Belly to me.
But they went anyway and I’m tellin’ you by the time the cops got there it was a real mess.
Aw Granny I’m falling off the chair laughing at the story and image you just presented to me. As Thorn said – I knew it.
Gotta tell ya, Granny ol girl, the horizon’s different since you got outta the closet
Epic! Not like the movie… way more close to home!
and that’s scary…thanks Tiffany
I had a friend try to dress up like Absynthe once… passable. The six foot male nurse with the six-inch heels on was my neighbor. I think he stole the show. He went to a bar or two that night. Think he may have been in the background dancing while your story scene took place. I’m just sayin’…
Yikes what an image to see in person and then in my mind a vision…its possible LOL he was in the background…
Love the ending! Great stuff!
Thanks Jon – good to hear from you again…
Good as always, Diane. I am going to make the public confession here that I have never read Peter Pan. The movie? Oh, yes, so at least I knew who you were talking about. I agree with another comment, “your usage of the English language never grows old.”
Blessings, pd
Oh my…you haven’t read Peter Pan? Wow I didn’t think there were any out there that hadn’t. Great fun to read and actually a short story. You can find it online for free to read. Thank you as always Peggy, I always look forward to hearing what you have to say.
Diane it is so true of you to fly with a story as creative as this. As I read the lines; myself floats in and out of what is fantasy, here is a children’s story (beloved but we won’t get into that) twisted and turned, flaked and exposed for our entertainment; I laughed my ass off. Clark’s ending cameo is perfect, and I am thankful once again that Miss Cresswell decided to do another piece.
Ever grateful for returning into the burning building to risk life and limb, and secure the man and wife. I worry about the cats.
Of course you haven’t read my response in Kyle’s dialogue on FB on how we dressed you. However, I feel so much better after reading your comments to see if I again brought flights of fantasy to your mind which has fun in the field anyway. I thought Gary looked good in tights!!!! Thanks ever so much my friend/compatriot. As soon as I get your prize put together I will send it off to you.
makes me wanna re-up
re up where???? I have the forms…LOL
I don’t remember what I meant by that, but send me the forms anyways
I grabbed myself a chocolate carmel bar, watched the video first, then plunged into this frightening, whimsical, descriptive, hilarious, imaginative genre of ‘art new wave’! It WAS a sodding sight to see these plonkers. I don’t know what a grotesque Tinkerbell looks like but I’m assuming it’s prettier than “cowboy” in green tights. The Cresswell palerium of thoughts sure has the trickle down affect, because I can’t stop laughing… down to my toes. Night time brainstorming may be the cure– for thoughts of suicide. I loved your picture!
Ok you’ve got me looking up words here…LOL. I knew you would have fun with this after our midnight talking. Think of an old Tinkerbell fading fast – with a dress that has seen better patched days and frayed around the wings, make-up that runs for the hills (the boob arena) and hair that never should have been bleached in the first place, straggly, frizzed, bits and pieces of food flecked through out it, fairy dust glitter has definitely lost its magic and color looking more like shavings from an iron pipe, with eyelashes that sweep the crumbs from the nose hairs, eyeshadow that is in the shadows of despair with false teeth that would make Washington’s wooden ones look spectacular! There I think you get the picture or can make up a vision of your own…worse than clown makeup gone bad!!!! Thanks my dear for the giggle of your words and for the assistance in the brainstorming that this erupted out of it.
This sounds like a parade of old women who have just lost their vision of possibilities. Ummm. a makeover class for fading tinkerbells. Replacing krinkels one step at a time. Such an imagination you possess, or does it rightly possess you?
Diane, no need to search the meaning of my made up words. You needed your own verbage. Webster is so old school. Cresswell dictionary is established at AWWYP. YEAH!!!!! WOOT.
Oh goody cuz I was heading into that direction of making up definitions for them…my head is on overload so thank you – LOL Oh and on imagination – which ever comes first gets fed – I think…Krinkles – as opposed to krispies???? Tinkerbell getting old is NOT a pretty sight!!!
Oh Diane, that was whimsical, wonderful, hilarious and truthful…drunken nitwits!!! Then there’s grotesque versions of Tinkerbell…hahahahaha! Wonderful!!!
Oh goody laughter – thanks for participating in the vision of drunken nitwits a la Peter Pan. Some days Pan looks good and others days…well I think the word is disturbed. Frolicking Neverland is always an adventure.
Wow! 27 comments and counting! Glad this panned out for you. Could have petered out.
naw they just got hooked!!!