Horace, the gold and bejeweled trophy donated to this contest by artist/satirist Ed Coonce (www.edcoonce.com) appears visibly upset to discover chicken wings on the menu of The Dew Drop Inne
Kenneth Weene has come home to roost after being absent for a while from our site. He has spent the time in a Buddhist monestary aka the Dew Drop Inne. In his entry for our Wingnuts contest he shares his enlightenment.
Don’t drop in at The Dew Drop Inne
by Kenneth Weene
It’s not just my watering hole; it’s my Goddamned second home. My wife would agree. “You spend more time at the Dew Drop than you spend with me.” She’s said that over and over.
Hell, if she were half so easy to get along with as the guys, I might stay home. Nag, nag, nag: that’s all she does. Can’t a guy sit around in his drawers and enjoy a cold bottle of brew? Is that asking too much?
“Where ya goin’?” she demands.
“Nowheres,” I answer, thinking about my wingman Sal and the cool one he’ll draw the minute I walk in.
Same as every night, but this time she follows me. I can’t remember the last time she was at the Dew Drop. She probably can’t either. But now she’s walking in the door, and all the guys are looking at her. Couple probably want to jump her bones, but they see that look of hers; she’s ready to kill—to kill yours truly.
I got no plan; I’ll just have to wing it. “Hey, Gorgeous,” I try, “you come here often?”
She don’t laugh, just walks over and brings her knee up. I’m bent over gasping for pain and breath when she says it: “I’m leaving you.”
“You hear me? I’m leaving!”
Yeah, I heard. “Hey, Sal,” I call loud as my hurting balls allow, “drinks are on me.”
Like I said, I’ll just have to wing it.
Sometimes Ken Weene writes to exorcise demons. Sometimes he writes because the characters in his head demand to be heard. Sometimes he writes because he thinks what he have to say might amuse or even on occasion inform. Mostly, however, he writes because it is a cheaper addiction than drugs, an easier exercise than going to the gym, and a more sociable outlet than sitting at McDonald’s drinking coffee with other old farts: in brief because it keeps him just a bit younger.
Ken’s latest book, Tales From the Dew Drop Inne inspired this yolk. You can learn about it and Ken’s other work at http://www.kennethweene.com