Featured, Thorn's Blog
Thorn makes an attempt to be earnest
30
Apr
Apr
Good morning all
I am offering a free beer at The Flying Pig (http://flyingpigpubkitchen.com/) or a ten dollar gift card to Dr. Watson’s Steampunk Odditorium (http://drwatsonsodditorium.com/) to the first person who correctly identifies the man behind the mask in the photo.
Here is a hint: If he ever says he wants to ride shotgun, don’t argue with him.
In the meantime, I am sorting through past emails of the last few months while I was in car serrated by aliens to find entries to the contest In the Bowels of the Bowery that may not have been published. I hope to wind that up soon and then have the Mother of All Contests shortly there after. Hmmnnnn…maybe a story about your mom…
The thornicator
Argh! He reminds me of that bad guy in Flash Gordon! One of those evile scientists. So, do you need me to resend my story?
If you sent in a story that did not get posted resend it before the aliens return
Hemingway.Duh!
Wrong!
WHAT!!!!! I know it’s not Sean Connery. Thought for sure I was going to get a free beer.
ironman of course.
Che Guevera
George Patton
Batman’s sidekick Robin in retirement
John Wesley Shipp who played The Flash on TV
Mama Cass Elliott
Ok.OK. NOBODY KNOWS? I will announce who it is tonight and collect on that beer myself.
Randolph Scott
So nobody got it right….I’ll buy my own beer. It’s Sal Buttaci
It can’t be me! I threw away my Flash mask in 1968 during a wild saloon brawl in Laramie. I should’ve kept it one. It might have gotten me out of there in a flash and saved me the loss of two molars and a break in an otherwise straight nose, not to mention a brutal hangover that’s had me sworn off rum but not Coca Cola since then. Nice try, Thorn.
Liar. Flash Buttaci. Master Flasher
That was YOU in that fight at the Birdcage Saloon that night???? Heck, me and Catlow was walkin’ down the boardwalk in Laramie that night when we heard the fracas inside Lily’s place so we knew somebody had just got the shit kicked out of ’em when we heard the gong, so I says to Catlow, I says, “Let’s go check out “For Whom the Bell Tolls,” and so we did. Marshal Troop took our six shooters so it was “A Farewell to Arms” as long as we wanted to drink a few beers. I remember you were pretty bruised up and Miss Lily told us you’d stood on the bar and FLASHED your butt, “Mooned ’em” if you will, and then she said the kicker was when you turned around and showed ’em that “The Sun Also Rises” and that’s when the drovers started pummelin’ you.
Hell of a party, Sal. Thanks for the memories.
Holy Toledo, how did I miss seeing you there! I was so drunk I can’t remember the damn boardwalk. I thought the streets were unpaved, unwooded–just plain dirt and horse patties. Did I really moon? That doesn’t sound at all like me. And as for turning around…come on, pardner, I may be a flasher but I’m a darn modest one; besides, I’d left my leather raincoat upstairs in Miss Bella’s one-bedroom apartment, draped over the vulture birdcage. That blue eye. That milky blue eye staring down at me. And Bella’s loud beating heart. Can you blame me for finally shooting her and that darn bird? You can tell tales if you want to, but keep your tongue unforked. I’m just a po’ flasher meaning no harm.
Earnest Gottlieb – who won the look like Hemingway contest 50 times in a row – he’s not participating this year due to he’s gone and met the real one only they won’t let him into heaven cuz there’s someone there that looks like him and until they get it straightened out – he’s hanging around Sloppy Joe’s scaring the customers into drinking more. Now boys – that there’s my saloon you were creating a ruckus in and everytime you wild-eyed bull riding, tabacco spitting galoots come into my place – you have bout put me out of business. Since both of you are now on probation, if you show up one more time – I’m going to hang your lily white bumkises higher than an eagle can fly. So says Lily with shotgun in hand, whiskey in the other, a cheroot hanging from her red lips and close friends with the Rooster!!!