Entries, Featured, Like a Ton of Bricks: Entries
Just hop on the bus, Gus
Nov
Tis the season to be jolly!
And who among us, oh Literati, can fail to be jolly when composing all our thoughts from cliches? That’s our contest: compose a full story about a conversation on a bus ride made up almost entirely of cliches.
‘S’definitely Allison has the season’s greetings for us in her entry:
Christmas Spirit
by
Stefani Allison
“Anything goes,” I thought to myself as the Salvation Army girl sat next to me. I prayed that the bus driver used to work for NASCAR.
“It’s better to give than receive!” she said cheerily, shoving her red bucket at me.
“Give them an inch, and they’ll take a mile,” I said, pushing it away.
“I beg to differ,” she said coolly.
“Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll eat for the rest of his life! Money makes the world go round!”
“You’re cold as ice,” she muttered. I’ll admit it; she was a lot cuter when she was smiling.
“Let bygones be bygones,” I said, smiling. She shook her head.
“You’re a good egg.”
“You ain’t seen nothing yet.”
“Jury’s still out.”
“I’m a man for all seasons.”
“Put your money where your mouth is,” she said, tapping the bucket. “Scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours.”
“Hold the phone, don’t toy with me”
“Opportunity doesn’t knock twice,” she said, leaning towards me. I gulped audibly; did her uniform require those tights on her legs?
“Your place or mine?” I asked.
“Buck stops here,” she said, pointing again.
“Whatever turns you on,” I said, slipping a dollar in. The bus arrived at her stop and I got up to follow her. The door shut in my face when she stepped out.
“Parting is such sweet sorrow,” she said as the bus drove away.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=rFGcMpYHngk
(Watching this video about parting was anything but sweet, but why split hairs?)
What fun! I’ve often wondered about the secret life of Salvation Army bell-ringers and bucket-swingers. . .
You know, there’s something familiar about this story — like I’ve heard it all before! Great Job Steph, you made Grandma smile!
Careful Grandpa-whoops-ma. You know where that leads.
This story reminds me of the all the bantering that transpired between all of us in the early days when the site went up. Quick clever exchanges of witty emotions. A mating ritual? Love it!