Pants on Fire!

Congressman Joe Walsh gets off-track and looses his concentration after telling the American President "YOU LIE"

 This changes everything! Oh Literati! http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=3dLtiFrykqQ Michael Stang is once again a finalist in one of our contests.  Always the bridesmaid.  Will this entry change everything? Still need to hear from three others, but they have until noon tomorrow California time, to submit about 200 words using the prompt “This changes everything”. And then, we’ll …

 This changes everything! Oh Literati!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=3dLtiFrykqQ

Michael Stang is once again a finalist in one of our contests.  Always the bridesmaid.  Will this entry change everything?

Still need to hear from three others, but they have until noon tomorrow California time, to submit about 200 words using the prompt “This changes everything”.

And then, we’ll see if it does.

Here is

Liar

By

Michael Stang

  Allen was a liar.

Congressman Joe Walsh gets off-track and loses his concentration after telling the American President “YOU LIE”

He would have succeeded if he had kept to the truth.  But truths in the sixteen-year-olds life equaled pain, suffering pain, words were costly.  Those who did not stutter, the perfect ones, they needed all the truth they could handle, words were cheap.  Allen found something else, other words, something he could live with, perfect no, especially suitable.

To speak required physical jig-a-boos, thrashed raves with arms jerked and the head bobbed alongside a tongue stuck on stupid.  Then a funny thing happened, another word struck like lightening in front of the hard word and Allen went for it; rolled out of his mouth like butter.  The momentary lapse of stress barreled him down paths of uncertainty, however, as that new word created a different legend instantly.  That’s okay, Allen’s mind screamed to the future.  This changes everything, as long as I can say it, I’ll deal with it.

On his walk to school the boy met a young waitress on her break outside the restaurant.  She asked him his name and her friendly smile jacked Allen’s paralysis up the middle of the road.

“John!”

“Well now, John, are you off to school?”

“Movies…a movie.”

“Oh, I see…I’m off at two… you could wait and take me with you?”

Oh, Allen screamed.  Again.

15 comments

  1. Mac Eagan says:

    I read your story and sat back to digest it.  A random thought popped into my mind – why didn’t Mike use the prompt?  I re-read and found you did.  You had me so busy focusing on the main character, his struggle, and his triumph that the prompt walked right past me, blending in with the crowd of other words and thoughts that so easily flowed through the narrative.
    Nice work.  You belong in the shark tank.

  2. Tisha Deutsch says:

    Poor Allen….John. It’s hard enough being a 16 year old boy! I hope he’ll go to the movie with the girl rather than to school. I agree with Mac. The prompt was seamlessly incorporated!

  3. Miryam says:

    “Allen’s mind screamed to the future” —- what a great line! Reading your story was like opening a gift. Thank you Mr. Stang.

  4. KYLE says:

    Yes Michael, My brain was stuck as well, I didn’t even notice the prompt in your story… and I always look for it. I just immediately faded into the plight of your character. Felt every little tinge of intelligent emotion wrapped around my legs, grounding me right in that moment of ‘tongue stuck on stupid.’ Better than being hit on the head with a stupid stick, immobilizing you to do nothing. Great unrolling of a well thought out story, a red carpet experience! It shined baby!

      • Diane Cresswell says:

        I already did – and I’m still thinking WTF did I write…LOL  If you get it figured out – let me know – maybe compare notes – whatever i did – was grand!!!! And I meant it!!!!

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