Or, if you are vegan and not the carnivore that I am, Fresh Broccoli!
That’s right, a newbie has strayed into our playground to enter our contest You Didn’t Write That.
Welcome. Here is
They Told Me, Keep Quiet
by Vincent Pritchard
When the city woke up that morning, it was greeted by the inky tongues of the newspapers. The tickers at the bottom of morning weather segments slithered their way across the milky surface of morning’s coffee to meet the eyes of a million not-quite-people-yet. The internet calmly spun in its imaginary dominion, distributing an infinite number of data to an infinite number of displays.
And yet, his exposé on the city’s organised crime had shown up in exactly zero places. He stared at the newspaper, where his column should be printed. Instead, there was an advertisement for dog food.
The editor-in-chief feigned surprise when the man burst into his office. “I don’t know what you’re on about,” he said carefully.
“You louse, you didn’t publish it! The entire underground would be exposed once the police find this guy, and you didn’t publish it!”
“Trust me,” said the editor. “You didn’t write that. You never did, and never will.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“I mean,” said the editor, sighing, “you should be careful what you stick your fingers into. Our advertisers have their eyes on you.”
The blood drained from his face. He understood suddenly.
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