Cashin’ in yer chips

Granny looking for Gary Clark on the beach not far from AWwYP

Literati and writers–oops!–RIDERS of bull! Rick Perry’s side-kick (that would be Gary Clark) decided that the hot sun in Texas was a little too much for Granny, so he’s done brought her to the beach here by the towers that are A Word with You Press.   Granny has entered our contest–be afraid–be very afraid, …

Literati and writers–oops!–RIDERS of bull!

Rick Perry’s side-kick (that would be Gary Clark) decided that the hot sun in Texas was a little too much for Granny, so he’s done brought her to the beach here by the towers that are A Word with You Press.

 

Granny has entered our contest–be afraid–be very afraid, if you didn’t write that! Gently open the “Contest” box on the menu bar, and try writing a piece yourself.  You just might win a hot time with Granny.

Here is granny’s entry, transcribed by her no good grandson Gary Clark.

 

Call 760 967 9673

by Gary Clark

Me and Catlow was down at Cheater’s Bar playin’ pool one night. Grandma was across the room sittin’ in on a game of five card stud, wearin’ one of those little green visors. She had a healthy stack of chips stacked up in front of her.

She got up to go to the little girl’s room and when she saw the ‘Out of Order’ sign on the door, she walked in the guy’s room and shooed all them guys out so she could take care of her business.

Now THERE’S an oxymoron for ya–a healthy stack of chips.

Then suddenly the boy’s room door swung open and banged against the wall. With the fires of hell burning in her eyes and steam boilin’ out of her ears, she stomped up to me and grabbed hold of my boys like they was peaches ready to be plucked. She jerked me away from the pool table and tugged on the boys, and I followed her without askin’ no questions, doin’ a tippy-toe dance kinda like somethin’ from the ballet.

She pointed to the payphone on the wall. “For a good time call Grandma – BR-549”.

“YOU,” she growled, giving the boy’s a hard twist to the right.

“I didn’t write that,” I squeaked.

14 comments

  1. A fly on the wall to watch the Tippy-toe dance.  Around here it’s the back stairs sneakers prance.  Too late at night- another story.  Granny is looking good from behind the scene.  Well at least she is getting some California Sun.  All of us getting back is just too much fun.

  2. Mac Eagan says:

    Looking at the phone numbers you chose to use in your story I can only say, You are cruel, Gary Clark.
    Reading these tales about your Granny I can only say, I understand why.
    Loved it.

  3. Kyle Katz says:

    Granny and I are spiritually connected. I was trying to convince her to write a “How To Book.”
    Gary, you always make everything come alive in the simplest way. You put the reader right in the middle of the action with-out even a nudge. I’ve passed along those numbers to my closest and dearest friends. 

  4. Stars Fall On My Heart
    Stars Fall On My Heart says:

    PLEASE tell me that’s not somebody’s actual phone number!

    Oh Granny…you have more balls than the ones you grasp in your fist!

    • Stars Fall On My Heart
      Stars Fall On My Heart says:

      Ok, I just looked at the top of the page for the number and confirmed my suspicions and your claims…OY. LOL

      • Mac Eagan says:

        Yeah, I Googled the number at the top wondering whose identity might be revealed – should have known.
        Do you recognize the number used for Grandma in the text of the story?  Without searching?  Those that remember Junior are likely revealing their age.

  5. SalvatoreButtaci says:

    Gary, you are darn good, especially when you write comedy. I always enjoy the laughs I get when I read your flashes. This is the honest truth though your grandma and mine were as different as Mama Bear and little Miss Goldilocks!

  6. Diane Cresswell says:

    On the floor laughing my ass off!!!!  Oh you are sooooo good at the Granny stories…you really should think about putting together a book of these stories – call it Granny Tails oops I mean Tales….and don’t forget the rooster….shooting from the hip – you done good Cowboy!!!!

  7. Chalice Divine says:

    Holy moly! My grandma was a wee fearsome beast who didn’t stand 5 feet tall until I noticed at age 35 or so. Her black knotty cane was legendary, and her aim with shoes and hairbrushes legendary and spoken of in frightened whispers on the nights she took to her gin. You took me there just now. Shivery!:)

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