Literati!
A Word with You Press feels a cultural obligation to promote and sustain literary excellence. We have taken it upon ourselves to fully fund this annual scholarship, to be applied by the recipient at the institute of higher learning of their choice.
Perhaps Columbia University, as pictured here?

In order to be considered for this honor, we ask applicants to submit the title of their favorite book, and a one paragraph explanation as to why they liked it. The entire daytime staff at The Word (moi) will select the recipient the same way we select contest winners, based usually on gender and availability. Send your application to thorn@awordwithyoupress.com as a separate word doc (not doc x) attachment. All applications must be received by October 10th, midnight, Oceanside time.
Recipient will be notified through this website, and awarded a check for $1.87, and a plaque honoring their achievement.
Welcome, Literati, to
The First Annual Beaviss and Butthead Literary Merit Scholarship Award

A Word with You Press is an equal opportunity annoyer
I have no idea if you’re serious or not…still probably going to do it in any case