Entries, Featured, You Didn’t Write That: Entries
Diana Cresswell!–You been THORNED!
Sep
Literati!– don’t say I didn’t thorn you!
Every now and then I take someone’s personal email that usually accompanies a story submission(aaahhhhh–there’s my favorite word again!) and decide that their confidentiality is just begging to be breached! In order to raise money for Sumatran here at the towers, usually I just do fifty shades of blackmail to keep a fan’s private stuff private. But when that fails, or when the email is just tooooo revealing, what choice to I have but to reveal the truth to our readership?
Here is the content of the private email Diane Cresswell sent me last night. Remember–A Rose by any other name would smell as sweet, a Thorn by any other name…is still a prick! Congratulations, Diane Cresswell! This (rose) bud’s for you!
Dearest Editor Whatever Realm You’re In Chief:
At the behest of one Kyle Katz – who threatened me with one of those nasty things she has in the closet – you have the riding crop so I’m not sure what she has in store for me – I’m sending this to you after she read it. Now…dilemma arises – I wasn’t going to enter this into the contest because…ready…it has too many words! And I didn’t want to fall into the cauldron of your wrath which means you would inform the whole literati readership.(TOO LATE!) Actually, its only the last sentence that maketh it runneth over. So I’m willing and I’m in crouch position with head on floor awaiting your decision because I’m perfectly fine with it just being thrown in as a piece to get others to get out of their minds (and I’m out of my mind mostly) and write. This was for my amusement and I’m still laughing when I read it.
So adieu mom amie or as we say in the islands – oops – can’t write that one…let’s see what else…rats no not that one either – Ok this one will have to do…a hui hoi – later alligator… rough translation.
Diane Cresswell – having glassessssss of wine (the courage of kings or in my case – the courage of queens and they needed it to put up with the kings – its good to be the queen!)
PS: I have seriously now – written a children’s story and am looking to seriously have it published. Know any good children publishers?
Mahalo – that’s one I think you know!
Ok I think I’m ready – here it goes…eyes closed – send
I am imagination. I can see what the eyes cannot see. I can hear what the ears cannot hear. I can feel what the heart cannot feel.
Peter Nivio Zarlenga
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So, my literate ones–email me at your own risk! And Diane, A Word with You Press (that would be Moi with staff close at hand) would be happy to consider publishing your children’s book. Publishing is what we DO!) And if YOU’ve got a manuscript ready or not for publication, send your proposal (ahh! propositions!) to info@awordwithyoupress.com.
And Here, Oh Literati, is Diane’s contest entry!
Writing: A Personality Disorder
– by Diane Cresswell
“Magic is the foundation from which the imagination can fly.”
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“You didn’t write that.”
“Of course I did, I just said it to you. It’s the beginning sentence to my book.”
“No you didn’t. That’s what someone like David Copperfield or Chriss Angel would say. Not you! ”
“Oh ye of little faith! You have no imagination at all. You seem to take perverse pleasure in mocking my writing.”
“That’s what I’m here for, to keep you in balance, not go flinging off into some alternate universe or dimension. Someone has to keep you grounded or your writing would make no sense.”
“You’re like the proverbial albatross around my neck or mind rather. You take away the fun and magic of writing.”
You call “the mists wove around her like a sticky thread of a spider web gone astray creating illusions in her mind” great writing? That’s writing from your arse. Makes no sense whatsoever!”
“Its magical.”
“Magical my left foot!”
“Go away! I need to concentrate on the next sentence.”
“Can’t! I’m your proofreader and logic. Not leaving!”
“Damn! Fine!”
The logical mind was magically encased, allowing her imagination to fly.
“Stupid sentence!”
“Shut up!”
(Feeling a bit like Gollum – right Precioussss?)
To enter our contest yourself, pull down details from the menu bar “Contests”
Proofreader and logic. Two important concepts involved in writing that writer’s hardly ever grasp, except as a bolt of sobriety when it is too late to do anything about it. And why should we? I can see where the literary world would suffer. We would lose creative voices, we would lose your voice and that is something I am not willing to accept. Yours is the golden ring through which we see the magic and the imagination. Go tell your stick to take a hike and that readers love to hear about how a spider’s web can cause illusion. Nobody does it like you Diane… nobody.
You make my heart sing – you wild thing! One does have to have magic in one’s life – otherwise its sooooo boring. If we cannot get past our own limiting barriers to write – those who read would not know the magic that the words bring to the reader’s mind and soul. Ahhh the wildness of the imagination. Thank you just doesn’t say enough to you…gladness fits better that you’re my friend.
Yep – my profile says it too – “Write like no one will ever read it,” and chances are no one ever will but then there’s someone out there somewhere just over the rainbow that’s looking for something that will touch them and open their eyes, someone that can connect with all our rule braking and mispelling 🙂 and magic style. You’ve never written anything that I didn’t like, Diane, because I’m sure that somewhere across the galaxy me and you are connected somehow.
So here’s to you, soul mate in writing. Keep writing!
You betcha sveedie youse and me is connected…so glad you dropped in…was wondering what happened to my Cowboy. And just so the record is straight – I – moi – have read your stuff and not only have I laughed till I peed my pants, but have also shed tears in response to the beauty of your words…yup we’re hooked together and it truly is magical. Thank you from my heart.
The sun will come out tomorrow….I’m magical and full of rainbows because you exist in my writing world. And yes Diane…For you, something special in my closet, with your name on it! You rock!
Thank you…for believing in me. I would have put this one aside and left it alone…but for you. Blowing fairy dust your way…now if I would only learn to send nice quiet emails to The Chief. But noooooooooo…I so have NOT learned…
Glad it was you and not me!
yet
I take an oath…I promise not to be so flamboyant and over the edge when we joust back and forth. The only thing that scares me more than spiders is being Thorned. I’m a changed woman!
really? Please don’t change too much…and you had better take back that oath….or I’ll find something in my closet for you!!! LOL
Like what? Sorry, I have taken an oath. Tell me later.
I knew it…The Editor would pull out his devilish side and set me up in front of ALL the literati. Oh well…you might be prickly but love you just the same. And I will send you the story and query – already presented to a group of 1st and 2nd graders who loved it.
The very best of luck with your childrens book. Cannot wait to read it.
they are of course the best to judge. Thorn not, lest ye be Thorned
Great read… the pull between stable and bizarre…. super! We must put on our wings sometimes and fly…
Thanks Miryam – its so much fun to fly….
Strong believable dialogue!
Thank you Sal.
Got me, “Who is she talking to?”, pulled me right in. Ahhh the joys of free gullibility side trips……
Its so interesting the dialogues I have with myself…especially when it comes to writing. Glad you enjoyed Brian.
Here’s how I see it – somewhere in your “Thorning” it appears the revealer-in-chief added his own comment to your email (“Too Late!”, anyone?). The “real” last sentence in your story doesn’t appear to fit the rest of the tale. So I am going to assume that it is NOT the last sentence of your story but is a comment by His Highness. Now, your story ends at “Shut up!” and has exactly 200 words. There, you are legal.
Love how you keep the suspense of identities all the way to the end, then reveal them with such deftness. I believe all writers are able to identify with what you have shared.
Oh, and just as a side note, my emails to Thorn usually say, “Thorn, here is another story for the current contest. -Mac.” I have learned it is safer that way.
Actually I would love to put that one on the Chief but its was moi. It what I was feeling when I read through what I had written and then added it as a bonus. Which is why I thought HE WHO SHALL BE NAMED would not print it. I’m going to learn my lesson here and do what you do – a very quiet email from now on. Thanks for the comments Mac – appreciate them totally.
enjoyed the story, Diane – loved the Gollum part, lol. Thanks for your comments : ) Jack Horne
glad you liked the Gollum thing – felt like him when I was done!!!
Oh i ADORE your thought stream where the double mind argues over every freakin’ sentence. It is a madness i think most suffer in the darkish hours when we try to model fantastical and verbose garbage into endearing and enduring prose. The font and the fury I call it, and you have captured it quite perfectly for my own struggling communications over why writing is so damn painful and private and… well orgasmic when it falls into the right order, oder, and is stripped of the ordure! you met the intent and the meat of the prompt perfectly, with feline fickle sparity. I love this!!
This is my favorite me thinks…. smackin’ good:)