Entries, Featured, You Didn’t Write That: Entries
Bugger off!
Sep
Good morning, Literati
from the towers in Oceanside that will soon be beach front property if Rick Perry is wrong and Al Gore is right.
Brian Howard, our most robust rabbi, has penned an entry into our contest “You Didn’t Write That!”. As the editor-in-briefs (it is still quite early here) I try to imagine what the story submission is all about by reading the title. You know, it is pretty easy to figure out what War and Peace is about before you open the covers, n’est pas? So I assumed that Brian’s story was about Bugsy Siegel, Endretto Bugatti, Volkswagons, Lobsters, or Elmer Fudd’s nemesis. I just HATE being wrong so early in the day! Tis about none of these things!
Here is Brian’s song-oops!-I mean contest entry!
Bugs
By Brian Howard
It was a deep biting pain on my right ankle. Looked like a horse fly. I saw the blood.
I remember it didn’t feast on the red trickle. Slow for a biting fly, couldn’t escape
my furious slap. I smashed it well. The flu symptoms began that night, accompanied
by an oily metallic taste in my mouth, followed by humming inside my body.
That’s when I started stealing the thermite explosives from my employer, General Intra. I had never even taken a paper clip before.
False procurement orders came next, the letters poured out of me. I remember thinking,
“You didn’t write that!”
The corporate Physician confirmed it; I was full of impulse drones. Micro implants, in
my grey matter, — writing through me, — stealing through me, I was a 180 pound
procurement drone.
The bust was easy, we just waited at my house, and Homeland Security came for it all.
Another Oklahoma Boom?
NO!
The doctors said that the drones are now dead, leaving only a rusty taste in my mouth,and blue urine lasting about a week.
Horse fly delivery drone, — they knew where I worked.
The Twin Tower painting contractors all came from Horse fly states.
It figures.
Why not enter your own schitck for a chance to win a carrot? Pull down contest rules from the menu bar.
HIII BRIAN! WELCOME BACK!!! *huggles*
Implants? What a drone te hehehe (still waiting for the coffee to kick in)
Stefani
Hi sweetie, thx, it’s good to be feeding the writing monster, I am learning to like it…..
Knee is totally restored, THANK YOU for your help…….It’s amazing, I love naturopathy, it works………
Naturopathy…I’m gonna try that =)
Wow! A Cupid’s arrow for the terrorist set. Wildly imaginative. Liked the format
Expand stuff like this and you’ll blow Tom Clancy and Clive Cussler out of the water.
Mr. Howard, You are watching too much sci-fi my dear….
However, I must admit, you have a marvelous mind.
Which, according to the drone, is a terrible thing to taste
No such thing as too much sci-fi.
Great story, Brian. I liked the concept and I also liked how you said “I didn’t write that” but worded it according to the contest rules. Very clever.
Keep them coming.
Hum. This is a very fresh sort of voice, with creative stuffed into smooth transitional fiction, with sentences reading like reams. Delicious:)