Wuss'n'Boots
The Feline self-defence…
Greetings from En-ger-land (I guess we shouldn’t mock the many hardened footie blokes who now sit weeping into their beers in the pub after the miserable defeat we suffered at the hands of the Germans, but still…it’s really quite hilarious).
As you may guess, Wuss, Boots and myself detest football. However, they do love certain things. As we find out here in the first installment of Wuss ‘n Boots, Wuss has a determined love for the cookie (or biscuit, as we poshies say). This love has drawn out a dastardly sneaky side in the usually so moral Wuss (said with intense irony I may add- he is anything but moral, but this is balanced by his extreme laziness and inability to see most things through. The next Moriaty he is not.) and he pays the price. And as members of his feline race so often display, he attempts this usual act of defence.
To Boots’ obvious amusement.
Wuss and Boots both (as you will find, should you wish to follow their weekly escapades) are unusual boys. To coax them into conversation is difficult, and often done through myself. They are uneeringly British in their sharp humour, yet softness so often creeps in, even to the seemingly hard heart of one.
Intrigued? Then do ask them something. I believe you may be amused at their replies…
Ru (with W & B)
Perhaps Wuss, or Boots, could tell me what “hardened footie blokes” are. Are they related to hardened criminals? Or do they wear those little nylon socks we use to try shoes on here in the states. We used to call them footies, back in the day. Now if I put those two images together. . .oh dear.
And why is it that they detest football? Isn't that unpatriotic?
Apparently, I'm some kind of traitor because I'm apathetic to the Lakers and Dodgers…apparently, it's some kind of dominant gene only people living in LA have and I got the recessive gene.
Oh goodness Thornton no, the boys are bristly little balls of Englishness through and through. They eagerly enjoy British (and Irish, don't forget their personal assistant comes from the Emerald Isle itslef, so they dutifully support it also) victories in most events.
It probably comes down to the fact they don't enjoy organised sport. The sort of sport they enjoy is a little different….you may see a good example very soon!
Sport is a funny one isn't it. Fortunately for myself and the two boys, all three of us were naturally born with a total inability to play any sort of team sport well. They simply make stuff up, while I watch and eat cake (metaphorically speaking, of course)
We are sure you are no traitor my dear, you don't look very Guy Fawkes to us.
I asked them, and this was their response-
“Hardened footie blokes are those muppets who scream EN-GER-LAND EN-GER-LAND EN-GER-LAND over and over at the top of their voices while simultaniously gargling twice their own body weight in Stella/Fosters/Carlsberg (choose preferable beer). This would perhaps be ok if this was not undoubtedly followed by the pointless (actually, it's always pointless really) violence, that one footie bloke will smash that other poor sod in the face because he thinks he gave him a 'look' (something normal people haven't figured out yet). Hense (they concluded) it is not so much the sport but the unpleasent side it reveals in many who delight in it. The clue comes in this sad fact- during the World Cup in 2006 domestic violence rose by a third. Scary stuff”
Those boys have a strong view on footie I tell you!
you forgot to include the snakebite!
Great artwork – the boys look good. My question is: how will two British/Irish cats be celebrating American Independence Day?
Ha! Snakebite is truely the devil of drinks *shudder*
Ah good question! I shall put that to them and see what they say, I'm sure whatever it is it will be…interesting!
“Hardened” – determined, unchangeable, set in one's ways
“Footie” – short for “football” but not the American version. Usually soccer.
“Blokes” – guys, men, fellas
“Hardened footie blokes” – die-hard football/soccer fans.
Okay, I'll bite: what is snakebite?
Thank you, kindly! It's so good to get the translation from a foreign language.