KYLE Katz delivers …

Darkness and Light

“To be…or not to be…that is the suggestion” implied by this most recent addition to our family of contest entries.

Literati,

I have been pre-occupied of late with the arrival of my granddaughter, Catalina. This piece by Kyle Katz makes me wonder what thoughts we all have when we are still within the womb, when thoughts do not have vocabulary. I am in the half of the population that will never know what it’s like to carry a baby, to feel what only a mother can feel.  Empathy fails us.  How can we males even imagine what it’s like?  Kyle Katz offers us some clues.

Redemption

by Kyle Katz

I heard you whisper to the night, thinking the dark had the power to abort me from your horrid memory.

I felt your crushing pain shooting up your legs as you dropped onto the cold floor, kneeling before God, pleading to have mercy on you.

First Trimester

You heard my heartbeat.

My soul felt your glimmer of happiness knowing I was a girl. I heard you talking to terminate or put me up for adoption. You wanted no reminder of lost love. He was your everything. He was my father.

I felt your torment. I felt everything you felt but somehow I knew I could make you love again.

Second Trimester

The nausea made me think that you wanted to spew me from your gut. I wanted a life with you.

Third Trimester

I tossed and turned, making imprints inside your belly. I wanted you to notice me.

The morning sun tackled your depression. I thought things were getting better.

I heard you laughing and singing, pumping your life’s blood to the roots so my branches would flourish.

Yet you wailed into the night demanding I’d be void— stillborn.

I lay quietly, not to upset you. I prayed to let you see the beauty I would bring you… but it was too late.

I felt the trembling gun and cold metal burrowing down your mouth.

“NO MOTHER DON’T!”

I kicked violently until I cracked open the light. Redemption’s breath rose, filling our nostrils with faith.

My soul whispered, “I love you and together we could create small miracles of forgiveness.”

One final push. I breathed the same air you breathed now.

I cried; you held me close to your breast.

You kissed me on the forehead.

“We’ll create miracles, Mary Elizabeth.”

Thank you mother… thank you.

 

Twenty years later my Dad finally received the Purple Heart for his service to our country.

Mom was appointed global ambassador for her work and dedication for GWWC

Grieving Widows of War–Torn Countries.

She never remarried.

*****

Presenting Catalina (Sully) Cramer, born February 19th.

Her novel begins
Her novel begins

 

 

 

 

31 comments

  1. Michael Stang says:

    Sometimes we all need a good kick in the right direction. Love the inside out perspective and of course, your beautiful touch.

    I think Catalina looks just like her G-Dad, don’t you?

    • Kyle Katz says:

      I know Kathy. It was a difficult piece to write and I hesitated about entering with this one. But I suppose that is what writers do. Thank you for reading it!

  2. Parisianne Modert says:

    Breathtaking mother’s love, father’s horror, forgivance and miracle of a daughter from womb to breast given to us the reader in brilliantly created time layers of lyrical cravings to live, raw emotional fears and body-scape birthing. Is love ever really lost beyond redemption?

    • Kyle Katz says:

      I know Kathy. It was a difficult piece to write and I hesitated about entering with this one. But I suppose that is what writers do. Thank you for reading it!

    • Kyle Katz says:

      Good question Parisianne. Thank you for the articulation of your critique. You summations are beautifully crafted…like poetry itself.

  3. Diane Cresswell says:

    Tears flow with the image of possible lost. Redemption in the form of Love’s miracle. Babies do hear and feel in the womb. So beautifully portrayed – your words are the hope of Love itself. Astounding concept.

    • Kyle Katz says:

      Love’s miracle is certainly one way of embracing, life’s tragedies. Who knows how many souls you can touch no matter what you’ve been through. Some of us just keep going. Thank you D for your insights.

  4. Miryam says:

    The bonding, acceptance, and struggles of mother–daughter love begins way before birth… This is so very touching Kyle. Thank you for going with your gut and posting this most tender and real story.

  5. Jon Tobias says:

    I like all the organic language and the oneness and separateness of the story. It reminds me of On Children by Khalil Gibran. Beautiful.

    • Kyle Katz says:

      I have been a admirer of Kahlil Gibran poetry and art for a number of years now. His work considered the most authoritative artist and poet of modern Arabia. On Children, indeed a good read. Thank you Jon for your recognition.

  6. Thornton Sully

    All of you folks visiting our site: Here is a reminder that our contest closes the 15th of March. If you have not yet entered the contest, here is the link to do so: http://awordwithyoupress.com/contest/at-last-a-new-contest-lost-love-it-is-valentines-day-after-all/
    Please help this community of writers grow by posting this on your website or FB, invite your friends to enter the contest and leave comments for all the entrants. You can enter up to three times: great news for the promiscuous among us who have more than one “first loves!” And you could win a mystery trophy and Nook or Kindle device… just sayin’.

  7. Tiffany says:

    I knew that there would be an awesome bit of something from you my dear Sassyboots. This was a wonderful piece. I’m glad you shared it with us. Love from the inside out – now THIS is an awesome reworking of perspective, and the setting at first made me think of something else. But then you wrapped it up neatly with a bow at the end, that brought clarity to my questions, and yet more weight to the story.

    • Kyle Katz says:

      Thanks Tiffany. I’m so happy it brought you clarity. The perspective flowed through me..once I allowed my own thoughts to take a seat and just watch it unfold. Hope all is well with you.

  8. Mac Eagan says:

    Pregnancy and childbirth are beautiful occasions but they are not without downside. Very nice rendering of of the struggle some women have.

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