Mac Eagan’s Bent and Jerry-rigged entry: You are what you Eat!

You are what you eat? My most frequent entree' pictured here.

Literati! Mac Eagan went off reservation last night to visit his three friends who have been in our playground before: Barry, Harry, Jerry. Here is their latest misadventure. Once you get pasta this one, there are three more finalist entries to be posted, and then you can vote for your favorite.

Barry, Harry and Jerry:  You Are what you Eat

by Mac Eagan

“I ever tell you kids how your Grandpa used to pick on me?”

“Harry, don’t start.”

“Haven’t you said how important education is? I’m teaching ‘em history.”

“Historical fiction, perhaps.”

“Now you’d think being triplets we was all the same size, and for a while that was true. But one spring your Grandpa and Jerry both shot up like weeds. Barry here decided he would use his height against me. See, I had this baseball I really loved.”

“The one you kept losing?”

“One day, it wasn’t where I always kept it.”

“You mean the yard?”

“After a few weeks, Jerry tells me Barry put it in the cupboard over the top of the fridge.”

“He said I did that?”

“He said where it was and that ‘somebody’ wanted to teach me a lesson.”

“He meant himself! He wanted to teach you to keep track of it.”

“Being smaller, I couldn’t reach it, not even on my tippy-toes.”

“Nobody could. He stood on the counter.”

“But, see, I was obedient and knew we wasn’t supposed to get on the counter. But I came up with a plan. I started eating everything from the Tall food group.”

“What group?”

“Asparagus, carrots, corn on the cob.”

“You always fed your vegetables to the dog.”

“And spaghetti. Lots of spaghetti. Only I told Ma not to cut mine up like Barry’s. I wanted my noodles long so I could grow really tall.”

“That’s not how it works, children.”

“And guess what! It worked! By summer’s end I was as tall as them. Now, I’m even taller than your Grandpa.”

“A quarter inch!”

“Lately, I even figured out how to get my revenge. Because he used his height against the less staturous, now he can’t bend over.”

“Arthritis occurs naturally.”

“I wait until he buys a new crossword book then I sneak in his room while he’s away and put it in the bottom dresser drawer, ‘cause I know he can’t reach down. Then, I tidy up his room some like the staff would.”

“You? Harry! I filed a formal complaint with management!”

Mac Eagan eats his way to new heights
Mac Eagan eats his way to new heights

5 comments

  1. Parisianne Modert says:

    Question, accusation, point, counter-point, hide and unable to go seek, the dialogue gets ping-ponged back and forth with dry humor, over the top as to the resentments existing beneath the surface.

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