Shawna! There you are! Past winner of one of our contests has surfaced for beneath the surface(file that under oxymorons I have known) But Shawna, what do you REALLY think?
Streaming Me (or since you asked)
By S.A. Smart
Best hold a breath…
I am a pitch-hearted soul-spavined train wreck and prefer to be left alone but since you ask I will say Moody mama was a childlike narcissist and Preacher Papa alternated between misogyny, pedophilia and midnight religious closet sessions exploring my virginity as tied neck to ankle in the dark I meditated on hoses filled with sand and razor straps and learned the ins and outs of daddy’s autoerotic asphyxiation fantasies so why not shame the devil and shrive my sins by confessing that four decades past that alternate reality I only smile at animals because the concept of human incarceration is old news to me and when I picture in stereo my reaction to such an environment knowing I don’t play well with others and am often distracted by the daily fight to contain the homicidal feral twin splinter I’ve imprisoned in the cave of my soul where if you hang a left at the PTSD bunker and keep straight on till morning you will reach the rage oubliette where she screams my name and begs for birthdays I don’t care about and love stories that make me feel like burning beds so deep and real in this naked thought stream of vulnerable definition I say true dear reader that I am but a human machine cranking twenty-four seven on the spiritual spite and malice kettles I beat in the dungeon of my memory to drown the furies that never stop cracking on my skull pan while committing all remaining cognitive systems to powering the meticulous friendly-face construct I wear wolf-to-sheep so I can sidestep explaining myself to them since too much heart to heart infuriates that twisted twin and she just might slip the cage and land me in one instead so I’m a closed system and down with it friends and neighbors.
So take a breath now and turn your eyes away for your own good… after all, you asked.