OMG! It’s Mike Casper, Wasting away, AGAIN in Dharlaritaville!

Literati! Just a reminder that you can enter our contest as many times as you like, or until the Editor-in-Chief (still Moi) says hold enough. This is Mike’s second attempt to win the kuhl trophy designed by artist Ed Coonce. The trophy is soooo kuhl I may enter under a fictitious name and win it myself! Only five more days to enter. Get on it!

Sticky Lime to the Rim

by Mike Casper

Shookkkaa Shoooka Shoookaaa-Shookkaah Shooka Shooooka-Shookkaa. Clink. I set the metal mixer aside and went on to the next task of preparing my masterpiece. Casually, I applied sticky lime to the rim then pressed it into the salt ring. A generous handful of crushed cubes, brittle and spiky, took up precious volume in the glass. This was my talent, my gift.

Then, as carefully as a goldsmith pouring melt into a form, I emptied the mixer into the one liter glass. Instantly, the sides fogged with condensation, and I noted with pride that not one granule of salt had fallen from its perch.

(giving new meaning to a bar scene)

A healthy, dark green lime found itself drawn, quartered and garnishing my creation. I licked my lips and tasted the recent past. I love the bitter smell of citrus. And something else.

I said softly, so what were you expecting this time, baby? Strawberries? Champagne? A pseudo-sexual foray into the shadows of illusion? Wordsmith play lightly touching on 50 shades? Top shelf titillation? Or not? Now that I’m playing barkeep, is that what you want? “Listen up, Darla: I’m in control now. Me.”
She gripped something firm and swayed a little. She was very close and I could see her chest heaving. I liked what I saw and she knew it. She licked her lips and I saw a rivulet of sweat run down her neck, between the girls. It was very warm now, and the lights had a bit of a halo around them. She breathed, “No, you’re not. I am.” I realized I was in trouble, and knew she was right. “I want you to do it like you did last time. With meaning. Tease me. Probe me. Dive deep into the glass. Give me everything.” I loved her pouty, sultry voice. She mouthed a kiss and pulled away. I saw amusement in her eyes. “It’s a special night, you know. Baby.”

She turned to the crowd, “Right, ladies? Welcome to LADIES NIGHT at Bud’s Bar and Grill!!” A cheer went up and the jukebox started blaring. I sighed and smiled. I was in my element… again.

12 comments

  1. kyle katz says:

    Geez Casper. I thought we had a talk about this back in the saloon? You promised to get help from the doc about these visions. LOVE THIS! Love your writing! Now get back in there and show us that Magic Mike we have all come to love. Great story Mike!

  2. Parisianne Modert says:

    Bring out the fans and throw chipped ice all over me, because I loved the first 90% of this pour, shake and stir with salt of your story Mike. Thanks to the very erotic images both Darla and you (Alfalfa?) splashed in my helpless brain I can’t get the song “Don’t Leave Me This Way” by Thelma Houston out from between my…um…let’s say ears…my, my…blush, blush.

    “Sticky Lime to the Rim” is both an excellent storyline match for your earlier story in this contest and in my opinion actually more intensely well written, but then there is that last 10% again which leaves a tease rather than a please to this girl long overdue in the pleasing. Right Thelma?

    Take your feet off the petals Louise! I know that man “started the fire burning out of control”, but he’s into kissing glasses not lasses.

    Um…my name isn’t Louise, but…

    Put the T-Bird in Park Louise, turn off the car key, hands off the stiring wheel, open the door and walk away, walk away now, let the man have his day.

    Great story of flight Mike.

  3. Mike Casper says:

    My Dear Parisianne,
    Iffen I were to leave my squeaky clean choir boyishness at the corner and make the last 10% of ‘Sticky’ steamy, smutty, and 50Shades-esque, it would have turned out sooo predictable, boring and eventually forgotten. Instead, I elected to take a sudden dogleg to the left, leaving the highly predictable for the rollicking. I wish I could somehow have Kool and the Gang’s song ‘It’s Ladies Night’ (below) launch right when you finished the story, but alas, it is what it is. Admit it, you were sorta smiling and singing ‘Ladies Night’ in your head when you finished, didn’t you? Mm Hmm. I thought so. 🙂

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCFDo1I0QIM

    Besides, a little tease is the spice of life, oui?
    Celebrate good times, c’mon!
    Mike

    • Parisianne Modert says:

      “Ladies Night”? I’m not a straight woman voyeur or a wishing to compete within a straight man’s harem for attention. A young man that I use to supervise had a second job at a hotel in the Catskill Mountain region where Kool use to like to hang. Kool actually was reported to be very cool, real short and a nice gentleman, but I’ve changed more than the people at Bud’s could ever imagine.

      Sorry to disappoint you, but “Ladies Night” isn’t my tune and never was. Each to their own number on the jukebox Mike, each to their own. To me the last 10% is natural intimacy, honest pleasure and without excuses needed, because I think false morality is the smutty and cruel part. I don’t break or make excuses for my passions or dreams of intimacy Mike. I put them into 4 wheel, overdrive, petal to the metal without a need for breaks.

      The 90% without the last 10% is game just game playing. 50 Shades of Gray by the way is about domination, submission, cruetly and lacking the need of consent which I find is poorly written and abusive. I’m not that woman, but I am a pleaser not a teaser and strangely I don’t drink alcohol at all or need it to have a good time with a date whether woman or man or both.

      So chill with your margarita, Lime Rickey and the bartender ladies at Bud’s. My T-Bird is parked and I’m walking away from the canyon rim without taking a full flight.

      • Parisianne Modert says:

        To change my mindset, I put on “Fun, Fun, Fun” by the beach boys. No Daddy takin’ my T-Bird spirit away.

  4. Kenneth Weene

    I have to say the very end dropped me. I felt like it was tacked on the use the secret word, but there was no “Benjamin” attached to the line. Till that moment, the narrator had me wanting both the drink and the woman. He was in that groove and we all knew it. Then he has to jar us with being in his element. Had there been a question? Why, again, did he say that? Ah, yes, the contest.

    • Mike Casper says:

      The secret word…the word ‘again’… at the very end of ‘Sticky’ is the culmination of the entire story’s embracing the spirit of the contest. Everything in the story, from the glass, to the lime, to the mention of the comments made by reviewers, to the ‘Bud’s Bar and Grill’ and so forth, breathes ‘again’. The read, from seduction of the bartender, to her turning of the tables on the protagonist, to the last line’s revelation that this is what the protagonist wanted all along, breathes ‘Again’. That’s how I wrote it, that’s my lens I saw through when I tried to relay to my readers.

  5. Michael Stang says:

    Going to the well (one too many) times? No, I don’t think so. Highly entertaining but I keep thinking what Sophie would think of all this.

    • Mike Casper says:

      Well, I tried to go to the surprise laughter well…and you’re right, Sophie’s prolly blushing right about now. I won’t go this route again, Mikey. Mea culpa. I’m glad you liked my book. Care to leave a review on Amazon?

  6. Diane Cresswell says:

    Mike Mike Mike – we’re back at Darla’s – again!!! So this is the other side coming out to play. Smack me with a wet bar towel, you had me dancing with de-light, the imagination flew with sweat all over it. And the finish… laughter with tears. Mighty fine – mighty fine.

  7. Tiffany V says:

    How fun and wrong to read this at work… on a Monday. You did it… again. This story was fun, and while I kinda agree with Kenneth about the “tacking on” at the end, it was well done and fun to go there even though you weren’t ‘going there’ at all! You’re a NUT! And I LOVE reading your stuff!

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