Diane Cresswell discovers invincibility

Literati! Some think that despair is the destination at the end of a very long path, through dark forest under unsympathetic skies.–others think it is a filling station on the side of a circular desert road somewhere between Gila Bend and Yuma. Road warrior that she is, in this pondering Diane Cresswell discovers grace, and the palliative power of love after an arduous journey.

What is Taken Shall Return

by Diane Cresswell

 

She laid there in a fetal position praying…praying that the heavens would open up allowing a flock of angels to descend down to carry her away. Her eyes were scrunched so tight that her cheek muscles were screaming, tears hastily reversing up into her brain. The pain inside was excruciating; she wanted nothing more than to disappear from the earth with no regrets for leaving. Waves of grief were shattering her weakened resolve to hang in there, to not walk out. No man is worth taking your life for, she thought… unless your soul has been ripped out by Mr. Fucking Death, as screams exploded outward. Black shadows of emptiness coursed within – she could not find comfort anywhere from the loss of the love that shattered with his passing; the devastation in its wake altered her focus, to exit this life.

She felt hollow, so pointless, numb… so nothing. Lying on her bed, racking sobs erupted as she attempted to find a reason to remain and live, some logical reason to continue on living in a world that had zilch to offer her. That’s why she, in the abyss of her pain, called upon the heavens, no– not GOD because she wasn’t listening– to have pity on her, praying to whatever god would listen, to take her soul out of the body racked with the agony of heart wrenching soul loss. I need help she thought as her brain shut down. She fell into a sleep that provided some relief from the thoughts her mind flung out like candy tossed at a parade.

This too shall pass.

Chapters closed ,she thought, New ones opened – and life moved forward. From the past to now; a new journey was but one step away, one that now allowed her to live fully beyond the remnants of desolate grief that had drained her to the point of leaving, to finding a measure of acceptance of what was, then moved into living life tentatively. Within, a light now burned brightly, a gift given in grace. Love had gently made its way back to her… again.

 

16 comments

  1. Parisianne Modert says:

    “What Is Taken Shall Return” is a story I have true empathy for given that my own heart remains broken. The excellent writing made this more intimately available to me. “She felt hollow, so pointless, numb…so nothing.”, I know all too well and “…she attempted to find a reason to remain and live, …” too. I am glad I read this story, because of its well expressed, raw anguish and new hope.

    The engaging, personal style is superb to me, because Death has snickered in my ear, “not your time, but I’ll take someone or some creature you love just to watch your suffering and end theirs.” Death of life or relationship is cruel and merciful. Death of a relationship is different as to mourning love loss, but painful and it lingers in despair with a loss of the will to live.

    Thank you Diane for your insights and for the ray of hope that this too shall pass with a new season of life renewed. Death is indifference, but humans must mourn before healing if they can heal from a broken heart.

    Tennyson’s line of “it is better to have loved and loss than never to have loved at all” haunts me, so I thought of it while reading “What Is Taken Will Return”. I am inspired that love returns to others even if it seems not my fate ever again.

    • Diane Cresswell says:

      I know this one would have an effect on you personally. Pain has its benefits once we let it go. It leaves it’s mark, strengthens, and finally allows our heart to beat once more again. Thank you for your words of strength. Heal we must and heal we can.

      • Parisianne Modert says:

        My heart has been reaped which is the only letting go I wish. I praise others who find a new heart’s hope to sublet, but I am as destiny doomed by love’s kismet stars as Romeo for his Juliet.

  2. Julie says:

    Excellent, effective writing. Your story line, your phrases, and expressed emotions will remain with me for some time to come.

    • Diane Cresswell says:

      Thanks Julie, the piece took me into a place I have visited and left its imprint.

  3. Kyle Katz says:

    A master storyteller. I could feel and taste the pain as your poetic choice of words took me floating into the light, a new beginning, all done in the twisting and turning in a short amount of time. Talented. “Like candy tossed in a parade.”

    • Diane Cresswell says:

      Thank you Kyle. This one did take me on some twisting turns, a moment in the memories that allowed them to quiet down and be healed. All have experienced this in one form or another. I saw the image in my mind and it wouldn’t let go.

    • Diane Cresswell says:

      Ah Sal you made my day. From the Master himself – that is one fine compliment. Thank you.

    • Diane Cresswell says:

      Thanks Jon. The picture I saw in my mind that the Muse placed there, had that intensity and I was hoping that I would be able to capture it.

  4. Tiffany V
    Tiffany V says:

    It’s a marvelous kind of funny story. Read aloud by the right person, the character’s cheek, her resignation, and her hopespark. I read that first paragraph a few times. It could lead to SO many different stories, domestic violence, comedic comeback, magical battle… I like that about your tale – I really do!

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