Sasha Deal: Green eggs and Wing Nuts!

Cat got your tongue? Literati! Our own Technical director Diana Diehl has been pried from her obligations writing a screenplay (for pay!) to play with us again, this being her second entry into Wing Nuts. She explained herself in an email, and though it does not quite rate a Thorning I thought it none-the-less inappropriate …

Cat got your tongue?

Literati!

Our own Technical director Diana Diehl has been pried from her obligations writing a screenplay (for pay!) to play with us again, this being her second entry into Wing Nuts.

She explained herself in an email, and though it does not quite rate a Thorning I thought it none-the-less inappropriate to share it with you.  Hence:

Hi Thorn,

I can’t believe I just wrote this. It’s actually based on true events, embellished to demonize the innocent and dramatize the blase.
I like to stick with Pulitzer prize winners, and since I have a thing about doctors this week, I went with Theodor Seuss Geisl as my wingman.
I don’t know if Dr. Seuss would have stood up for women, but he was quite the activist, taking on all kinds of causes.
Nonetheless, when you read this, you’ll know why you need to print my apologies to the wonderful author of children’s books–and to all our gentler readers.   First because my penultimate line of dialogue is shamelessly ripped from Dr. Seuss, and second because it’s horribly revealing and inappropriate.  So it’s dedicated to you, Thorn.   Maybe I should use a pen name for this one.  Sasha Deal?
Peggy may never speak to me again.


With sparkle,
Diana

And so, here is

Turning Point

by Sasha Deal

“I did not mean this when I said, ‘Oh the places you’ll go.’”   Teddy and I gulp down almost-whiskey at the Paladia.  An absolutely gorgeous woman is bumping and grinding to “Wild Thing” surrounded by bits of fur that once were a costume.

“You’re going through with this?” he asks.

I glare at him. “I just received my 152nd rejection letter.”

Now a woman with a cowboy hat and stretch marks gyrates to Johnny Cash.

Absolutely Gorgeous comes over. “I’m so glad you made it, dahlink! What music did you bring?”

“Music?”

“Tsk! You’ll use one of mine. Come. Bring your friend.”

In the dressing room, I rummage through LPs. I don’t recognize any of them.  I’ll just have to wing it.

“Let me see your costume, Sveetie.”

“Costume?!”

“Paah!  College girls.  Here.”  She pulls out a tin hat with horns and some metal coasters strung together with chains.  I gawk when she hands me a Wagner LP.

“De egghead conventioneers–dey lahf it.”

“I-I thought I was auditioning, not going out there.”

“That iz audition.”

I’m dressed. Sorta.  The owner introduces me.  I scan the audience.  That’s my literature professor!  I back away, but the owner grabs my arm.  “Get out there!”

That does it.  I look him in the eye. “I do what I choose.  I don’t owe you a show. And I’m the one who decides where I go.”

Teddy grabs my coat.  “Yeah, what she said.”

 

 

13 comments

  1. 1948pdobbs says:

    Diana or Sasha by any other name…..
    No way you could run me off, we’re pals for life, and Dr.Seuss is one of my favorite authors, too. With nine grandchildren you can imagine how many times I have read him. Just as good as I expected, but I am still voting on the other one!
    Blessings, pd

    • diana_SD says:

      Phew! I had great trepidation about submitting this one but please remember (puhleeez??!) that this is a story about a turning point–about what I would NOT do to survive. I’ll tell you the real story, Peggy. You won’t tell anyone, will you?

      I was working a real job but not earning enough to make meager ends meet–no car, no furniture. The gorgeous woman was a wonderful person from a hard background supporting her mother and sisters by dancing. She suggested I audition rather than starve. I did go in. I did have a wingman; he was not Dr. Seuss. There were no professors (I was a college dropout) or Wagner, but there were conventioneers and a cast of greasy characters I’ve seen stereotyped in every mob movie ever. I never made it into or out of a “costume.” It was just TOO sleazy. I left before my “audition.” To give this story a happy ending, I eventually got back to school and became a doctor (vet). The end.

      I like my other entry better, too, but when writing for contests, it’s recommended to write for the judges, right? It IS Thorn, right?

        • 1948pdobbs says:

          Diana, you owe me no explanations, but what an interesting back-up to your story! I had forgotten that whats-his-name-editor-in-chief, is wired into all of our conversations, but it does keep him off the streets.( He knows we love him) pd

  2. Lordy, lordy, lordy, Sasha (let me say that name again) SAASSSHAAA, is there nothing sacred? You are going to hell but not today. Today you can bask in the onstage glow at awwyp and smell the roses that are thrown at your feet while you will always wonder how the stainless snake felt between your legs. Loved how the wing man was there at the end when she needed him. The writing is flawless and tight to the point. Great job.
    Don’t worry, kiddies grow up and forget, but they never gorgive.

  3. diana_SD says:

    omg I just watched the Cat in the Hat trailer you put up there, Thorn. There is a stripper pole in there!

  4. Diane Cresswell says:

    diana – oh my diana – this is such a romp through the imagination and throw in Dr. Seuss and you’ve got a winner. Soooo…

    The cat in the hat flies through on the floo,
    Followed by Yertle, Horton, Grinch and Who.
    If I ran the circus, the Lorax is the ringleader
    Grownups eat green eggs and ham in the Fizzwiggle
    theater.
    Oh the places you can go with Seuss by your side,
    Imagination, grownup, child on a camel in the Drize desert
    for a ride.

  5. TiMo says:

    This was hilariously mature, while still childlike. I appreciated the desperation and heroism in the story… especially where some of the costume descriptions were involved.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *