A Tour d’ Farce

Ahh yee of little faith. Literati, I am still here.  I caught a bit of a cold (pneumonia, actually), I think because they refused to issue me an extra blanket.  But here I am bright-eyed and bushy-taled (or tailed)  and loaded for bear–or unbearable cliche’s.  Very few entries in our contest, sad to say.  Must …

Ahh yee of little faith.

Literati, I am still here.  I caught a bit of a cold (pneumonia, actually), I think because they refused to issue me an extra blanket.  But here I am bright-eyed and bushy-taled (or tailed)  and loaded for bear–or unbearable cliche’s.  Very few entries in our contest, sad to say.  Must be tough as nails to write a whole story comprised of idiom sink crassies.

But let me start to publish what has come in, starting with something T-rex–oops! T-relf has submitted.

(Bus Driver! Move that bust!)

Detour

by

Terrie Leigh Relf

            “Hold on everyone! We’re going for a ride!” The bus driver grabbed the wheel like a vice, whipped it around, barely avoiding the car making an illegal turn across the intersection.

“That was a close call.” The silver-haired woman next to me sighed with relief. “I haven’t crossed a single item off my bucket list.”

“Me, neither,” I replied, mentally counting my blessings. “So, what’s on yours?”

“Let’s see. . .There’s Europe and Hawaii, one of those waxes,” she whispered conspiratorially, “you know, down there. . .”

The bus driver called out, “We have a detour, folks. The City’s tearing up the streets again.”

“Our tax dollars at work,” a twenty-something said without looking up from texting.

“I don’t even bother to vote anymore. It’s not like my vote counts,” said a guy knitting baby booties.

“If you won’t think for yourself, others will think for you,” said a suited gentleman behind a Wall Street Journal.

Some guy in the back yelled, “Let’s get this party started! I’m going to be late to work again.”

“So complain to the City,” a mother with three kids mumbled between yawns.

Paint-stained-overalls guy said, “Like the City cares about us little people.”

“Another detour, folks.” The driver maneuvered around a series of yellow cones, muttered, “Oh shit!”

“So, what’s on your list, dear?” the silver-haired woman asked, just being polite, I’m sure.

“Being abducted by aliens,” I squealed as the bus careened into a gaping maw in the asphalt.

 

The End

Literati on an outing with Ken Keysey on the bus “Farther” (Forgive me, Farther, for I have grinned)

 

22 comments

  1. Terrie, I know you have been patiently waiting.  Like outside the bathroom  door in the hall holding on.  Alas the contest begins to move forward, and your entry was worth the wait. 

  2. Stars Fall On My Heart
    Stars Fall On My Heart says:

    Ok, first day back in a while *cracks knuckles*

    Oh, if only public transportation were that exciting everyday! I’d leave the car home! Nice how you brought in the old “bucket list” every time the bus driver got a little crazy behind the wheel! Was the bus driver a NASCAR reject? Bet that’s on HIS bucket list! Good to hear from you Terri!!!

    • Tlrelf says:

      Thank you! Yeah, I bet the driver was  NASCAR with that on his bucket list! Trust me. . .as someone who relies on public transportation (and the occasional goodness of others along with my feet don’t fail me now!), if you rode the bus for a month, you would have a novel and several sequels!

  3. KYLE says:

     Action packed adventure. Sandra Bullock was waiting for part two of this wild bus ride. Tooth and nail…let it begin. Whew. I need to go comb my hair now!  NICE

    • Tlrelf says:

      Thank you, Kyle. I would love to see Sandra Bullock play this role. . .I had totally forgotten about that movie when she’s on that wild bus ride with that guy from Matrix. Be sure to comb the stacks, too.

    • Tlrelf says:

      Thank you, Kyle. I cut all my hair off so I didn’t have to worry about it getting caught in the wheels or the bus door.

  4. Mac Eagan says:

    Terrie,
    I see you took the same approach I did – ‘If you can’t join ’em, make fragmentation a part of the story.’  I am impressed that you were able to provide details on so many of the supporting characters.  Nice work.

  5. Mac Eagan says:

    Hey, Thorn, if the number of stories is down, and you suspect the guidelines are contributing, maybe you could tweak them a little?  Like, drop the number of cliches down to fifteen – but give extra credit to any who use the original required amount.
    Oops, gotta go.  The man in the suit is walking amongst the cubicles again.

    • KYLE says:

      Fifteen, would be nice. Thorn  does like to stretch us a bit. My son Judge is working on this one!  We are in it up to our eyeballs, laughing so hard as we try to outwit one another. He wins every time! We usually have a write off every week with one of my prompts. He’s dumping me for Thorn’s cliche exercise. KIDS!

      • Tlrelf says:

        LOL! Here’s to a bit of healthy competition! Give your son two prompts to complete next week then. . .hehe

    • Tlrelf says:

      Horrors. . .you have cliched men in suits in the cubicles! 
      I also took the guidelines to signify our characters could be cliches as well – even if there are people like that.

  6. Glclark says:

    All this while “The Wheels on the Bus go Round and Round” – (can you tell I’ve had too much grandkid time?) But I digress……….  Great Job, Ter. We can always count on you for a wild ride. Thanks for the laughs.

    • Tlrelf says:

      Thank you, GR! I remember that song, My daughter and I used to sing it over and over and over again. I might make her sing it with me now. . .

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