Reader’s Digest

Writing is an all consuming passion

 Literati Terrie Leigh Relf has apparently discovered my secret.  Here is another entry into our contest You Didn’t Write That   Mrs. Malaprop Pays a Visit to a Local Book Reviewer by Terrie Leigh Relf             “You didn’t write that.” “What?” Stefan yelled over the espresso machine’s steamer. “Never mind,” I mumbled, waiting anxiously for …

 Literati

Terrie Leigh Relf has apparently discovered my secret.  Here is another entry into our contest You Didn’t Write That

 

Mrs. Malaprop Pays a Visit to a Local Book Reviewer

by Terrie Leigh Relf

            “You didn’t write that.”

“What?” Stefan yelled over the espresso machine’s steamer.

“Never mind,” I mumbled, waiting anxiously for my vanilla latte. I was going to need several before this night was over.

“So, what was that you said?” He smiled, set the steaming cup on the coffee table.

“That you didn’t write that. What you said earlier.”

He seemed perplexed. “I didn’t?”

“No, you didn’t. You said you wrote, ‘Thorn Sully is a brilliant novelist,’ but look here—“I tapped the glossy page, slid it across to him, watched his pale face grow paler still.

“This is. . .this is. . .how will I ever. . .this is. . .”

Disastrous, I thought, but didn’t say, trying not to grimace as Stefan collapsed in a heap on the sofa, curled into a fetal position, cradling his groin. I disconnected the landline, removed the batteries from his cell, locked and bolted the doors, the windows, then managed to wrench one of his hands away to hold, knowing that there was nothing, absolutely nothing, that I could do to prevent the inevitable.

After all, everyone knows Thorn’s brilliant because his belly’s full of novelists.  (click to view  thorn eats authors )

Writing is an all consuming passion

THE END

Yes, please mention my website: http://www.appleseedhosting.com/tlr

14 comments

      • Mac Eagan says:

        I can only assume at this point that Thorn originally wrote something like “Teri Lee” and, after having it brought to his attention, went back and edited it to the correct version.  Because on the page I see, your name here exactly matches the spelling on your email address.
        Naturally, whatever Thor may have done to begin with will be denied – “No, I didn’t write that.  Promise.  See?  Look at the page.”

        • Thorn says:

           I do appreciate that you have seen the godliness in my name with your second spelling of it. Did you mean to write that?

      • Tlrelf says:

        One Story it was Terri Leigh Relf, then Terrie Liegh Relf (or something like that), but now it’s correct as Terrie Leigh Relf. My signing Ter probably doesn’t help. 

  1. Diane Cresswell says:

    Oh lordy I love this – Thorn is getting Thorned in a very delightful way….good job Tlrelf…I’m laughing…

    • Tlrelf says:

      I seriously considered the ramification of thorning Thorn, then realized that turnabout is fair play. Remember all of his references to the honorary scrotal bag where winners are drawn? That was what I intended to allude to (for the long-time residents of this fair group), and that said literary reviewer KNEW his scrotal bag would be next. Then, I decided that might be too blatant. I actually toyed with leaving the final line out, as I’m mixing my metaphors with Mrs. Malaprop, originally intending to write a feghoot, but not being able to come up with one. Sigh.

  2. Chalice Divine says:

    Woot, thorn roasty:D

    This is fun stuff hehe. I personally love Goya in a most inappropriate passionate way. It’s one of my deepest shameful secrets, second only to my in-the-closet passion for the Louis L’Amour Sackett series. Delightful!

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