The Kyle Katz Cave(at)

Quiz: The top two reasons wants his Barby-Bach Barby Bach. He wants his Barby Bach Barby Bach Barby Bach..He wants his Ba...

Oh, Literati! Our first contest entry for “You didn’t write that.” Comes from Kyle Katz.  Kyle is someone who counts in these parts, though apparently not the number of words.  Her entry was supposed to be 150 to 200, and we are at about 250 here.  But we are going to post it any way.  …

Quiz: The top two reasons this cave man wants his Barby-Bach Barby Bach. He wants his Barby Bach Barby Bach Barby Bach..He wants his Ba…(Here he pleads with her if she’d like to be in his jug band)

Oh, Literati!

Our first contest entry for “You didn’t write that.”

Comes from Kyle Katz.  Kyle is someone who counts in these parts, though apparently not the number of words.  Her entry was supposed to be 150 to 200, and we are at about 250 here.  But we are going to post it any way.  Why?  Because rules were meant to be token?  Naw, because maybe we need a little more verbiage to prime the pump for our first contest since our site rebooty.  So we are posting her entry with the caveat that her next entry–you can have two–is EXACTLY 150 words excluding title.

500,000 B.C.

by Kyle Katz

“DorKa, (grunt) my cactus flower (grunt)…. I’m exhausted from the hunt.”

Irk scratches his smelly, bushy armpits. I’m going to jump in the lake and then return to MY man cave. (History shows this is where these phrases originated.)

“Have the children cleaned, studies concluded and dinner prepared when I return.”

Dorka’s, anger inspired the first cave drawings.

Irk’s head dangled from his hairy body. A spear gashed through his heart. Blood dripped from his gouged out intestines, lying below him like a carpet of sausages. Captions hung below, crafted like a seasoned writer, thoughtful and intelligent. (History: a woman was actually the first writer.)

Irk and Dorka’s four sons, finally returned from a long day of playing outdoors.

“Mom, what strange things are you doing to the wall? Is this our new lesson?”

“Teach us Mom!”

Irk returns, holding a cactus flower for his beloved.

“Where’s my dinner? Why are those strange configurations on the wall?”

“IT IS WHAT I DO, Irk.”

Irk walks over to the wall, places his hands on the indentations. (History. A woman invented Braille.)

“You did not write this? This is a man’s work. Which one of my intelligent sons produced such a fine piece of literature?”

IT WAS ME, Irk.

Irk raged wrath upon his wife. She grabbed a femur, and beat the Irk out of him until he was breathless. (History. It was the first case of self­– defense and women’s liberation).

(History. First successful cave writer… A woman!)

 

Website: KyleKatz.Com/playology

“Some of you kids get out there and help Kyle with the groceries”

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OK Folks,  Why not cave in to the temptation to enter the contest yourself?  Check contest rules at the menu bar.  If you did not laugh at the cartoon I used to illustrate Kyle’s story, it’s because you’re pre-hysteric.

 

14 comments

  1. Diane Cresswell says:

    Might have gone over board with the words – but definitely not overboard in content…Kyle style!!!!  My favorite kind.  And they still haven’t learned!!!

    • Kyle says:

      Hey Diane, Yeah I was reading some of Ed Coonce’s stories. Just wanted to go out of bounds, over board without drowning. This is the site that allows me to experiment. I did have such fun, writing this one. 
      Love to read something from you. It’s been to long!

  2. Miryam says:

    My first attempt to comment didn’t post… Hope my second try will work. Loved your entry Kyle! Very clever & made me chuckle… Also quite graphic. So good to see the site up & kiddos for being the first entry!

    • Kyle says:

      Hey Miryam. The girls are back in town! I wrote this as a modern day fairy tale short. Even funnier!  
      Glad you enjoyed it. Looking forward to reading yours! 

    • Kyle says:

      Thanks Sal. Fan the fire. I know everyone that knows your style can’t wait until you post. Especially me. Learned how to Flash through you. Right on this site!

  3. So, here we go.  A rollacoster ride  at the beginning of man.  None of that knock them over the head and drag them back to the cave thing.  Oh no.  A twist about who knocked who.  Delightful, entertaining, and a fantastic splash back into the primordial bliss we all consider this site to be.  Thanks Kyle.

  4. Kyle says:

    Here we go and there it went. The train is on the track and folks are comin back! It was fun to write this and let loose. Glad you enjoyed it Mike.

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